>Selfstuck: Begin

A young man stands alone in his room, face pressed against a window. It is today, the EIGHT OF SEPTEMBER, a relatively odd and frankly inauspicious sounding date, that isn't this young man's birthday. Nonetheless, it sure feels like Christmas came early for him, circumstances taken into account and all.

What shall we do?

>Enter Name

This would be all well and good maybe two years and several months back, but this young man was already given a name back when it was his thirteenth birthday!

>Read Name

Your name is DAVE SMITH, which is kind of a dull plain name. It's fitting, you suppose, given your RELATIVELY BLAND INTERESTS. You enjoy TECHNOLOGY and SCIENCE, but are not masterfully versed in either. You have a fondness for VIDEOGAMES, but have never found yourself intense enough to be great with them. Your family is relatively WEALTHY, and your house is somewhat oversized for you and your FATHER, a cunning and amiable man, who is the main reason for your household's AMASSED FORTUNE. You partake in MARTIAL ARTS, and while you suppose you KIND OF LIKE IT, you do so mainly to avoid SPORTS, which you detest, like most things of your MALE TEENAGE DEMOGRAPHIC. You are a bit of a shut-in, and while you attempt to insist you're a REALIST, you come across as more of a PESSIMIST, perhaps due in part to your PERFECTIONISM. You are an avid ROLEPLAYER, but not one of the kind who LARPs or plays DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS, because that is kind of saddening even in your mind. You also dabble a bit in GRAPHIC ARTS, but are UNBELIEVABLY SHITTY AT IT, because you're unbelieveably shitty at ART IN GENERAL.

What will you do?

>Dave: Continue to press your face into window

You don't really need to press your face against the window of your ROOM, because you have already noted that your father has left to play in a local POKER TOURNAMENT. This is the only reason you were pressing your face against the window, and in fact the only reason you were in your ROOM, which you rarely use for anything besides sleeping, given it is far inferior to the GAME ROOM of your house, where you use your LAPTOP regularly. The room at this point less houses your interests and more preserves them, like a time capsule. Books crowd the shelves, PORTABLE GAMING CONSOLES and the games to fit with them are scattered about. SOUVENIRS of FAMILY VACATIONS riddle your dresser, which is topped off with LEGO CREATIONS you've grown too fond of to disassemble, despite not having used them or LEGOS IN GENERAL for quite some time.

With your father out of the house, you can get started on using the computer early, which is good given you'll need all the time you can squeeze out of today. Time which you and your friends lack. Today you have finally rounded up all of your INTERNET-ENTWINED ONLINE BUDDIES for a chance at playing a new thrilling game that has recently come out, SBURB. Finally, you've gotten past timezone and schoolwork related delays, and can actually get shit done. First things first though, you should probably grab all the necessary stuff to get ready. On you are your PHONE and WALLET, while your COMPUTER-RELATED PHERNALIA are all upstairs in the GAME ROOM.

What will you do?

>Dave: Retrieve Belt from Floor

You CAPTCHALOGUE your recently attained BLACK BELT into your SYLLADEX. You don't seem much use for it, but hey, better than leaving it on the floor, plus you have captchalogue cards to spare.

>Dave: Check to See if Anyone is Online

You suppose you should look at your SMARTPHONE's CHUMDROID APP to see if your friends are even online. If they aren't on PESTERCHUM, there's no need to go all gung ho reving into action.

Your BOARD BREAKING MODUS was a recommendation of your Martial Arts instructor. Contents can only be removed by breaking a board, releasing the object.

...Which usually entails just dropping it from a decent height onto the floor. Luckily, the carpet should cushion the blow.

>Dave: Break Board WITH YOUR BARE HANDS

As fun and badass as that'd be, it won't be necessary. The modus isn't set to specify a difficult break automatically, thus allowing you to use your weapon of choice to dispatch of inventory hassles with ease.

>Dave: Break Board with Weapon of Choice

You retrieve your STAFF, allocated to your STRIFE SPECIBUS as STAFFKIND. You give a quick swing and the board's broken with ease. Your ANDROID SMARTPHONE is ejected.

>Smartphone: Descend

You fail to descend, for you are already here.

Here. In Dave's hand.

>Dave: Check

Sure enough, your friends are on.

Well, most of them. You guess you can just start with these guys. The important one's here, at least.

>Dave: Contact the Important One

Quote :

-- beastlyExperimentor [BE] began pestering mysteriousLupis [ML] --
BE: Hey.
BE: You're going to be the first client.
BE: Fairly certain this needs things to be done in order and not simultaneously.
BE: Oh, and to be clear, this isn't debatable.
BE: You have the tightest schedule of all of us, and 1. I'd feel shitty if you missed your chance, and 2. Our friends have a miraculously short attention span for these things.
BE: You have the client, right?

>Be that guy getting talked to right now

Hey, you're that guy getting talked to right now, and basically you have a fucking headache, wow, like for reals. Stupid people on tumblr and their "Startbeta" thing. You are basically entirely certain there is no way this isn't gonna be some kind of stupid virus.

>Wait your name and stuff

Oh right, you were busy having a head ache and stuff. Your name is Josh Ignotum. Well that isn't really your last name, but you think your last name is really boring so why the fuck not. Your interests include lots of things you're too busy to explain, so you point towards your personal character sheet in the Out Of Character and say that the person reading this should just go fucking read that. You don't really care much for the 4th wall because the fact this is based off yourself makes the need for one kind of idiotic and dumb.

>Josh: You're being messaged by your bro, go talk to him.

Quote :

ML: Still rocking the Beastly Experiments I see.
ML: Sweet
ML: You have the file right?
ML: Here I'll just link you again.
ML: http://www.mediafire.com/?ogzu5gqv9v8bh54
ML: There it's a link.
ML: I don't know man, I still don't really trust this.

==>

Quote :

BE: I know it's not the most trustworthy source, but yeah, that's it.
BE: How else do you expect to get a hold of such a top secret in development beta?
BE: I'll check to see who else is active.

>Dave: Look at Chums

So many choices. The majority of them being pretty irrelevant or shitty.

>Dave: Pester arcaneEquinox

Oh FUCK no. That's not a thing that's going to happen anytime soon. Sure, it'll probably happen regardless of your say in the matter, but not yet.

AE can wait.

>Dave: Pester erraticHorizon

You opt to pester EH, given he's one of the cooler headed among your group currently. You yourself are a short fuse, and you're fairly certain Josh could be an unstable dirty nuke if put in the wrong conditions currently, to stick with the bomb metaphor.

Quote :

-- beastlyExperimentor [BE] began pestering erraticHorizon [EH] --
BE: Hey, you have both the game copies, right?

Quote :

ML: I don't know, I guess you're right.
ML: I'm gonna pack up my stuff, so you probably won't hear from me for the next couple of minutes.
ML: Not that you really have anything else you probably have to tell me.
ML: Yeah.

>Josh: Engage Checklist in battle of pencil and paper

You need your weapon, some food probably, and maybe some health and safety stuff, and a flashlight. You know how this game works mostly, but you're not entirely sure what all you're gonna need. What do you bring to a game that makes you the main person? You aren't really sure. You are pretty sure though that you can find all the stuff you need downstairs.

>EH: Reply

Excuse me, we don't know who that is yet. You have to follow the rules.

>EH: Commence introduction

A young man, rather than stand in his room, sits at a DESK downstairs. He also has a CAT on his lap, so that's also very new and exciting!

>Cat more interesting. Commence introduction.

Your name is JADE and you have a variety of respectable interests, including immersing yourself in quiet and tranquil meditation. Much of your free time, which composes ninety-eight point three zero six percent of all of your time, is heavily and dutifully devoted to the scholarly and dutiful examinations of common contemporary notions of philosophy, mathematics, political happenings, and other significant fields of academic research that pique your interest. This research is conducted under the guise of various facades, such as eating, sleeping, sleeping, sleeping, sleeping, sleeping, sleeping, refusing to eat, and eating. You have organized many psychological experiments, determining to divine the reactions of various humans when their television-watching is interrupted by your gloriously furry manifestation hopping up onto the ledge directly in front of it. You also partake in the Infinite Hunt, the one True Goal, the ultimate and permanent extinction of all toy mice - the True Menace - though sometimes, you honestly can't be bothered to chase. Your sleeping contemplations are far more important than any corporeal wants and needs.

In three hundred years your descendants, operating on your own teachings, will wrench control of the humans and bring in to place the one true Perfect System of autocratic rule, spreading peace, love, happiness, tolerance, and hairballs about planet Earth. This is all completely irrelevant. For now, you are content being massaged by the tolerable hands of the Edibles Human, He Who Brings the Food.

>Is enough.

Whiskerlog wrote:

-- ediblesHuman [EH] has ceased petting jaculiferouslyAcubatorilyDiscommodiousExtramundanist [JADE] --

>EH: Be EH

You are now, and still, erraticHorizon.

Your actual name, of course, being GLEN ANDREW, you like to think of yourself as having a variety of interests. In reality, however, you spend most if not all of your time on the COMPUTER, investing daily hours into CASUAL GAMING and AMATEUR ART. In fact, most of the things you have ever done were either casual, amateur, or on the COMPUTER. An exception would be volunteering – two times a week, you hop down to the ANIMAL SHELTER and help out. It feels good to be useful, and boy, do you like CATS. And BIRDS. And ANIMALS in general. And NATURE and SCIENCE in general. And GENERALLY EVERYTHING in general. Once in the right STATE OF MIND – perhaps attained after a particularly long RUN, though you don’t run much in the summer, or maybe if it’s late enough at night – you are excruciatingly happy and could give WORDS OF APPRECIATION to just about everything that crosses your path.

You are, in fact, a HAPPY PERSON, and are determined to stay yourself despite such troublesome things as GENDER ROLES and REAL LIFE. Sure, such bombshells as ‘GROWING UP’ and ‘COLLEGE’ may wear you down, but those points of WEAKNESS are soon put behind you. SCHOOL has never been a problem, and though it will surely require more work in future, you see no reason to believe that you will sink to a LEVEL OF IMMINENT FAILURE anytime soon. (Oh crap though, mate, you have to get a JOB sometime! Write that on your HAND – there you go. Now you’ll surely remember!)

Your SKILLS include... Well now, you aren’t particularly skilled at much, but you do enjoy an awful lot of ACTIVITIES! A few samples from that list: Reading, writing, drawing, gaming... Oh my goodness that isn’t an awful lot at all. It should have occurred to you before now that you’d completely mess up this AUTOBIOGRAPHY – for you absolutely despise SELF-EVALUATION. Suffice it to say that you listen to MUSIC, wear WRISTBANDS, talk to yourself, sing in the shower, enjoy a good PUZZLE, and do all of these in the fashion of the ordinary teenager, though it is your belief that no one person can be truly ordinary. WEIRDNESS is all around us, you think to yourself, and you wish nothing more but to accept, tolerate, and love such an omnipotent and powerful force. You type like someone who is perpetually listening to their favorite music! *u* No doubt it annoys the hex out of some of your friends. Psssssssh they're fine.

(AND OH MY GAWSH HOW DID YOU NOT MENTION YOUR HATS? YOU LOVE HATS AND HAVE A COLLECTION OF THEM GROWING ON YOUR MESSY BED IN YOUR MESSIER ROOM.)

>EH: Discover message

Oh dear, you've been contacted! And at least half an hour ago, no less. You were too busy with nothing in particular to notice. Good work.

Pesterlog wrote:

EH: Hasi! :3
EH: Oooohgawshi'msosorry, didn't hear the bedoop...
EH: Yeah, I've got the files! When do we start? o3o
EH: I mean, we do have the orders and things worked out, right? So it's just a matter of getting everyone together.
EH: This is gonna be freaking amazing. On an unparalleled level of redefinition.
EH: It's going to REDEFINE redefinition. Heee.

==>

Quote :

BE: Yeah yeah. Redefinition and all that.
BE: As for the order, that's more or less a thing I'm doing on the fly.
BE: That being said, I'm still organizing you all lest heaven forbid I put one person with their worst nemesis or some shit.
BE: Considering I see no way you could possibly tick anyone off, I'll put you with Josh, to provide as much of a buffer between him and you know who.
BE: I think AO recently got on, so I should be able to get him to server you. First I should actually get to a computer though.

>Dave: Exit Room

You exit your ROOM into the MAIN HALLWAY of your house. Despite being large, your house manages to conserve room count by making rooms normally HUGE compared to what they should be, like this hallway, which connects the entire house for the most part. This end of the hall is connected to all BEDROOMS for your family and any would be guests.

>Dave: Proceed

You get to the FOYER, a ridiculously huge room containing a double door with marble flooring, and a separate area that's basically a living room you only use to house a big Christmas tree during the holidays. Several large double doors to a balcony in the backyard are opposite the house entrance-way, giving a view of the valley adjacent to your house.

==>

You proceed further to another point of the hallway, which connects to the DINING ROOM, which is only used for special occasions, your father's OFFICE, and the FAMILY ROOM, basically the living room you actually use. Where it ends, the entrance the family room, also connects to a small area containing a BACKDOOR, BATHROOM, GARAGE ACCESS DOORWAY, and the stairs to the GAME ROOM, the only second story room in your house.

>Dave: Reach stairw-WHAT IS THAT

You note one of your three CATS casually. What, it's a cat. It's a black cat, but you don't believe in any bad luck stuff, and it's more of a blessing that he's not chattering your ear off like usual. Really, it's not that big of a deal. You watch as YANG scampers off into the OFFICE, where the OFFICE BATHROOM houses the CAT BEDS and CAT FOOD.

Your other cats, YIN and BELL, are nowhere to be seen, but that's not too strange either. You arrive at the stairway to the game room, and activate the lights on the CONTROL PANEL.

(( Appropriate Listening: ))

If one were to delve into the subject of the polarity of the Earth, one will notice quickly that as you move closer to the Poles, it gets colder. Quite, quite colder. One of these colder areas that Humans decide to still inhabit while still enduring the cold is Alaska. And as we fix our gazes upon this beautiful land which underlies a chill that could freeze the Blood of some, we set our sights on a relatively fair sized town. But of course, it’s not the town we actually want to focus on, but rather the house a small ways away from it.

Within this house sat a chair. It was a large chair, and quite comfy as well if still lacking a prowess of RECLINING. It shone a humble NAVY BLUE WITH WHITE POLKA DOTS. What shall this chair’s name be?

>CHERYL THE CHAIR

Your name is CHERYL THE CHAIR. You yourself admit that you are not an intelligent creature. No, you aren’t even sentient… or alive, for that matter. But no one can dare look upon your ancient, vast frame and call you lazy. No, you are LOYAL. You are STEADFAST. You are AN IMMOVABLE FORCE (a fact bemoaned by many who attempt to carry you from place to place). And you get only MINUTE RESPECT. They might comment on you being a fine chair, and fix your legs when they break, but if they were really sorry they would LOSE SOME FREAKING WEIGHT.

You have served FIVE WHOLE GENERATIONS OF ASSHOLES. You have stood there, on all four legs, during their JERKASS ACQUAINTANCE CRITIQUES, their DUMBASS TELEVISION WATCHINGS, their HALFASS HOMEWORK ATTEMPTS, their SMARTASS NOVEL READINGS, their LAZYASS VIDEO GAME SESSIONS, and as many FAT ASSES as they could throw at you. That’s a lot of ass!

Of course, while your diligence is something to be awed at and admired, you sadly (or, quite possibly, happily) are not the MAIN PROTAGONIST of this particular Story Arc. No, that title belongs to the young man, one of the aforementioned generations, sitting upon you, stooped over with his long hair obscuring his face, pouring over a book of some kind. It did not look to be a large book at all, more of a booklet, really.

The young man, sensing the unearthly presence of a minor importance begin to be bestowed upon him, finished the chapter he was on, closed the book, and slowly stood up, pushing back his hair to reveal a set of eyes that could drive many an unwary man into fits of umbrage. While he never really knew why he was standing, it shall be noted that we do: while this is not any special day in particular, today’s the day he shall finally be granted a name.

What shall this name be?

>Self-righteous Analfancier

You slowly find your hand crawling up your face, almost embarrassed by the complete left-field decision of the name, even though you still technically ALREADY HAVE ONE, and were just expecting a variation of it. You hold what fury you might have from this insult and calmly demur to the choice.

>Rick Kzeeoh

That is much better.

>Rick: Observe Room

You turn your head from the right to the left, observing the triangular, wooden walls that make up your attic-room. You spot your BED, a DATED TELEVISION set (not dated by much, mind you; it still has enough capacity to withstand your Wii games; it just looks inferior to the Modern Day digital television), the wonderful and valiant CHERYL THE CHAIR, a DRESSER, and a WINDOW.

Upon the wonderful CHERYL THE CHAIR was your old, worn copy of Machiavelli’s infamous political essay, ‘The Prince’. You had already had a read-through of it, but you had learned that the new idea stirring through its readers’ minds was that it was actually a parody. As you reread it, you conclude that there is an absolute tonne of evidence to back this up. Combining Machiavelli’s prose along with what looks to be his ridiculously sarcastic humor and you find ‘The Prince’ to actually be a vastly entertaining read.

>Rick: Observe the outside

You move towards your window, but become quickly sidetracked by a fierce shot to your toe, courtesy of your bed. You find yourself grabbing your toe in pain and doing a one-legged jump, similar to some bizarre mating ritual.

After that affair, you begin moving to your window once more. As you gaze out of it, you notice that the cold earth is slowly being draped by snow. Your area always seems to have a tendency to get Winter early. What once was dull, depressing dirt would soon be a grand blanket of water.

You glance to the side, and then notice an IGLOO located just a ways between your house and the town. That would be your NEIGHBOR, a Girl (one would usually say Woman, but you know her demeanor, which is quite childish) from California looking to come to Alaska for, you kid the readers not, ‘Living in an igloo, because that’s what everyone up there does, right?’

Despite the sheer idiocy of her escapades, she, by some black magic, done it, and has started to live in a large, air-conditioned, internet-capable igloo. You have no idea what emotion to use to respond to this event.

>Rick: Engage in internet conversations with friends

You hop onto the bed and grab your iPester, your iPod that you mainly use for Pesterchum, deciding to see how everyone is doing for the beginning of this new game on this fine September early morning. You scroll through your list and notice that beastlyExperimentor has appeared to have just logged on. Hoping that his attention is still on the screen, you begin to pester him.

Quote :

—airedOriginator [AO] began pestering beastlyExperimentor [BE] –

AO: ‘Lo.
AO: ^I must say, I do find myself adamant about beginning to really meet with you guys, even if you’ve been my pals for a long time.
AO: However, I suppose that’s natural when you’re nigh-hermitic^.
AO: I suppose it will be for the best of all of us if we set aside the Void separating us.
AO: ^Woof^. Blast, even when I’m typing. Pardon me, that was, I suppose, some kind of subconscious hiccup.

You put down the iPester for a second, contemplating something you wanted to discuss, if only you could Bloody remember what it was… Aha!

Quote :

AO: If I remember what you said correctly, then this is truly in the Beta phase, correct?
AO: ^Hmm… taking this into account, I suppose that that would mean that there would be next to no Wikis concerning it. ‘Tis a shame, a bit of background knowledge on it would’ve been helpful. Especially concerning the bugs.
AO: Gosh, I remember the bugs of the last application I tried to install on my computer. Blasted things, makes my Blood boil just thinking about it. They’re the things that made my computer the turtle-paced calculator it is now.
AO: Hopefully it has enough horsepower left to play this game.
AO: So what’s new with you?

>Dave: Ascend to Highest Story of House

You ascend to the GAME ROOM.

You kind of feel like that was a bit anticlimactic, and needed a badass musical accompaniment, though you have no idea why. You climb that stairway several times each and every day. It holds no symbolic value to you, it's just a way you get to this room.

Huh.

>Dave: Proceed to Laptop

You pass the LIQUOR BAR and POOL TABLE, which is currently covered with a PROTECTIVE TARP. You head to the POKER TABLE that houses your schoolwork and LAPTOP. Behind you are several SLOT MACHINES, all of which are broken, and a DIGITAL POKER MACHINE. To your right are a pair of PINBALL MACHINES.

>Dave: Open Pesterchum.

You open up pesterchum on your laptop, only to find AO is already on and pestering you!

Wow.

That's... convenient.

It's unnerving that he always seems to do that.

>Dave: Respond to AO

Quote :

BE: Oh, hey.
BE: Was just about to contact you.
BE: Not much I guess.
BE: And relax. This game shouldn't be too taxing. From what the client and server software suggest, it's ridiculously streamlined to not making your computer shit its pants.
BE: To a pretty damn suspicious degree, actually.
BE: I'm hoping my sources weren't shitting me on the amazing-ness this game supposedly entails.
BE: Anyways. I've got Josh going in first because bluh bluh time constraints, and Glen's servering him.
BE: Are you up to servering Glen?

>Dave: Note Other Chums

You don't really think it's necessary to simultaneously pester Glen, Rick, Josh, AND someone else simultaneously. The thought's a bit absu-

Oh no.

Her.

Ugh.

This will be distracting and irritating.

>Dave: Answer AE

Quote :

-- arcaneEquinox [AE] began pestering beastlyExperimentor [BE] --
AE: yin
AE: yiN
AE: YINNY
BE: WHAT.
BE: Jesus fuck.
AE: im bored
AE: ur the only one online
BE: That's complete bullshit.
AE: except for em but em is borin
BE: Augh.
AE: shhhh dont tell him i said that
BE: I could be boring.
AE: no ur cool
BE: Hell, I could shit bricks of boredom.
AE: hahah jk ur a chump
BE: MOTHERFUCK.
AE: just like me
BE: Good GOD.
AE: we're all chumps here
BE: I'm not even in the mood to argue with your self deprecation.
BE: I'm a bit busy.
AE: o no
AE: with what
BE: Nothing relevant with you.
AE: what y
AE: tellmetellme
BE: Because it's not relevant with you yet.
AE: yet? :O
BE: Yet. That was the word I said.
BE: Here's me saying it again: Yet.
BE: Yet yet yet yet yet yet yet.
AE: yeeeet
AE: when r u goin to tell me then
BE: Later.
BE: Not yet.
AE: wow ur so specific!
BE: I don't know, then.
BE: Would you prefer that type of vagueness?
AE: the sheer amount of specification happenin here is mind blowin
BE: Yes. I'm fucking handing out specificity like pennies to UNICEF.
AE: :O
AE: wELL
AE: tHEN
AE: dont tell me
BE: I wasn't going to yet.
AE: sdngjasg
BE: Making it sound like your idea isn't really changing anything.
AE: arrrrg
BE: Look. If I tell you now you'll go batshit up the fucking belfry about it.
AE: :O
BE: Which is all well and good LATER.
BE: Right now I can't afford for that to happen.
BE: I'm trying to be a good friend for someone else.
BE: I can be a good friend to you later.
AE: oh who
BE: Not yet.
BE: Irrelevant.
BE: And that's not something that will be told later.
AE: >n<
BE: Oh god forbid your mouth actually contort that way.
BE: Might get stuck.
AE: naw
BE: I'm the southern one. Isn't that more my dialect?
BE: Even if I moved to California, where we both are.
BE: I think I'm south of you.
AE: i live more south than u do im p sre
BE: Meh.
BE: Point is, not yet.
BE: Later.
AE: fiiiiiiiine
-- beastlyExperimentor [BE] ceased pestering arcaneEquinox [AE] --

Ugh. You really don't need her complicating things.

Let's focus on a different conversation, shall we?

Quote :

AO: EH? Why yes, I’ll do so.
AO: I’ll admit, that does sound hilariously fishy. I do not mean just any sort of regular fishy, but I mean complete Lovecraftian aliendevilfishy sort of fishy^.
AO: From what little info I’m getting on this game’s amazingness compared to its data usage, I’d say barking mad!
AO: Wait, did I just…
AO: Never mind.
AO: Anyways, I suspect that you have other people to begin speaking to, so I’ll let you get on your way.

>Rick: Sit upon CHERYL THE CHAIR

Keeping your iPester in hand, you move over to your trusty Chair, and plop down, your arm on your thigh and your cheek on your fist. You pull out your iPester and scroll through the list, smiling at the names slowly beginning to switch online. You lean back in your chair, waiting for the day to finally begin for the rest of the world, allowing your mind to run wild with the deranged thoughts of the unfocused everyman.

>CHERYL: Withstand the pain

Oh dear, he has descended into boredom upon you. You stand there, ready for the long haul.

Pesterlog wrote:

EH: Ooooh yeah, Josh is cool!
EH: So is Rick.
EH: Lineup sounds guuuud, dis is gonna be really fun :3
EH: Guess I'll see you when we get this armadillo rollin'!
EH: Assuming that all of those junknugget speculationings follow the path of the sturdy bucket and actually hold some water.
EH: Basi~
-- erraticHorizon [EH] has ceased pestering beastlyExperimentor [BE] --

>Glen: Prepare for impending catastrophe

What better way to do that than by homing your FPS skills in the ever-popular Hat Fortress 2? It's your favorite game - you can customize your character with so much fantastic headgear!

>Glen: Perceive bedoop

Whoops, looks like your virtual war-based-hat-simulator will have to wait.

Pesterlog wrote:

-- arcaneEquinox [AE] began pestering erraticHorizon [EH] at 20:27 --
AE: doot doot
EH: Ohasi!
AE: hasi!
AE: whaaaatcha doin
EH: Ooooooh not much. Just gettin' ready for the big game :3
EH: Say, what place did Dave pop ya in?
AE: oh cool what game?
AE: wait what
EH: What do you mean what game?
EH: Oh wait.
AE: hf2?
EH: Wait did you...?
EH: Uhhh...
AE: u just started playin that
AE: is that what ut talkin about
AE: UR*
EH: Yeah, HF2! He was organizing an HF2 tournament! Yeah that's it :3
EH: You shouldn't like, talk to him about it or anything, though.
EH: Or mention me at all.
EH: ...Yeah.
AE: riiiight
AE: hey
AE: u kno whats funny
EH: Yeah? o:
AE: whats funny is that i was talkin to him earlierrr
AE: aaaand
AE: he refused to tell me stuff
AE: andddd i think u kno what the stuff isss
AE: whatsthestuff
AE: tellmetellme
EH: Oh that's probably just because it's of no importance whatsoever. I mean, I don't even know anything either. >3<;
AE: wow mata u dont sound suspicious at all!
EH: I know right? I'm really good at this! :3
AE: im not detectin any amount or increment of suspicion here
EH: Hmm...
EH: Wait you're not being sarcastic, right?
AE: facepalms
EH: Wait did I.
EH: What's going on? o:
AE: yes
AE: yes i was bein sarcastic
EH: Oh.
EH: Wait was that sarcasm, too? =D
AE: oh my gods
AE: x3
EH: Does that mean I did good?
AE: yeah sure
EH: You know what, I'm going to work on the assumption that I succeeded here today.
AE: but i think
AE: im gonna hafta have a word with yinny
AE: about whatever the hell this gae is
AE: ]game*
EH: Oh that's completely not necessary in any way shape or form whatsoever!
EH: I assure you. With the utmost assurance.
AE: noooope i think it is!
AE: oh i believe u
AE: but
AE: im not gonna listen to you
EH: But but but...
AE: cya mata uwu
-- arcaneEquinox [AE] ceased pestering erraticHorizon [[color=#009933]EH] at 20:34 --
EH: DON'T TELL HIM I MESSED UP PLEASE! Dx

Good job mate. Fluxed it up like a proper gentleman, you did.

>Josh: Commence Gathering

You proceed downstairs in search of various materials. At the bottom of the staircase you are met with a wall of 5 clocks, each a brass color, the largest of which being the time here, the other 4 show times in such places of the World as Beijing, London, and New York City. Unfortunately this is rather irrelevant as all the clocks are wrong and nobody has taken the time to fix them. This is your first decision of the day. Do you go left or right, If you go left you enter the main room and the dining room, and then take a left through an arch into the kitchen. If you go right you go down the hall and take a left through an even bigger arch into the kitchen. Basically you'll always end up in the kitchen. You take a right as it's kind of a force of habit and then left into the kitchen. You head over to the drawers and retrive from them your trusty meatforks, which are basically like regular forms, but not as long, are bigger and basically more lethal. You leave the kitchen and head back into the hall this time taking a right around the corner and continue. The hall forms a kind of right angel where at the corner of the right angle coming from the staircase to the left there is the kitchen and straight in front the computer room. You aren't really sure why you're bothering to explain this all because your house is fairly spacious with most rooms downstairs only connected b large archs which might as well not be there. You take a right at the right angel and continue down the hall. To the left is the mud room and to the right is the bathroom. You know for a fact the flashlight is in a cupboard in the mudroom so you go in there and retrive it. Now it's a matter of getting a first aid kit. You also know for a fact that's in your parents bedroom... under your mothers sink... with all her... feminine products... Fuck.

>Rick: Get off your ass. Explore home.

You check your iPester one last time to notice that everyone seems to be busy with something and away. You could try EH or ML, but you feel like that they have enough on their plates… maybe. You should probably check… nah. You bring yourself back to your feet, giving a reprise to the loyal CHERYL, and proceed to exit the doorway, stuffing your iPester into your POCKET MODUS.

==>

You arrive unto the intersection between the STAIRS, the SUSPICIOUSLY USELESS LOFT, and YOUR ROOM. You casually step upon the stairs, only to find yourself tripping and landing back upon the carpeted intersection. Fortunately you aren’t too hurt, just a bit shocked by the suddenness of the fall, and quite annoyed that no one told you about the stairs, dog.

Recovering from that pointless, elaborate way to set up a call back to the canon material, you descend the wooden staircase and enter the MAIN FLOOR, entering right into the LIVING ROOM. You take a good glance around, giving a good look at the TELEVISION, the COUCH, the CARPET, the FIREPLACE, the URN…

Oh gosh, the URN. You want to look away and forget it, you really do, but sadly the attempt to think about forgetting the urn only makes you remember that you’re trying to forget about the urn, and thus remember the urn. You keep telling yourself that you should just move on anyways.

On the outside, your posture still remains calm if straightened, although any façade of UNFLINCHING COOLNESS you might have slowly starts to splinter as you stare wide-eyed (or at least, more regular eyed, but still more wide-eyed then usual) at the plain, unremarkable, porcelain urn.

On the inside, you begin to somewhat flashback to that FATEFUL DAY a few months ago. Images of Death and Ritual flash before your eyes, bitter sorrow and guilt biting at your psyche, until you finally stare at both the beginning and the end of the day your caretaker, your previous only source of living physical interaction, your good dog, and your best friend, had finally met their death.

You finally manage to get ahold of yourself and stop all this silly moping. She was a Great Dane; the fact that she lived to be her age was something unheard of. That day may have traumatized you, but you know that there are still plenty more days to come. You break your sight from the urn and continue walking, nearing the KITCHEN.

It is a relatively simply office of the creation of culinary arts: a REFRIGERATOR, an ELECTRIC STOVE, a SINK, and PLENTY OF CUPBOARDS. You notice that pan upon the stove, and remember that you were going to make some Eggs for yourself, just as a little something for breakfast. You pull out all the necessary ingredients, be it the carton of eggs, and a cup and some milk to stir them in.

And then the cupboard a bit of ways to the right exploded.

“Good morning, Rick! You seem to be up a bit early.” From the wreckage was a screen, and the one to appear on it is none other than your GRANDFATHER. Knowing the wiles of this man, you accurately speculate that the cupboard didn’t actually explode so much as it retracted very quickly and played some SPECIAL EFFECTS. The man just really likes his THEATRICS.

“Well, Grandpa, today’s the day I sit down to get to interacting a lot more closely with my friends. We’ve got voice chats and all prepared for when those kick in.”

The old man rested his arm upon the arm of his chair, and his head upon his fist, showing somewhat of an amused manner. “Well, lookit that: unlikely friends from all over the world acting as though they were right there in the same room. The internet sure is a marvel to behold!”

“So you probably wonder why I blew up the cupboard to speak here, huh?” Asked your Grandfather, retracting back to his usual slick, almost sarcastic and deadpan manner. He was never truly malevolent, but he sure knew how to have fun with his doings, even if it was to your chagrin. “Well, I noticed that you were about to make eggs, and realized that you were about to do it in a very boring manner. So, I’m here to fix that.”

With that, he quickly pulled up a stereo, and you immediately felt the tension change. “Now then, the pen in your pocket. Feel free to use that to go about this in the way we talked about. Ready, go!”

>Rick: Make eggs more epically

(( Appropriate Listening: ))

With no time to think, you quickly take the couple of eggs and crush them within your grasp, allowing the yolks and whites to slip into the selected cup, managing to separate them and the shells through not yet seeable means. With a spin of the lid and a grab of the jug, you swipe the milk across the counter and manage to pour enough of it into the stirring cup. You then proceed to enact the final part of the first step and stir with the might of ten batterwitches, turning the mix into a concoction of readiness for the next step.

You grab the stirring cup and pour the concoction onto the heated pan. However, knowing you have enough time before the omelet begins to form, you look into the fridge and observe your MISCELLANEOUS INGREDIENTS OF CHOICE. You notice some ham and a pepper of some sort, which you toss upon the countertop.

The MUNDANITY TO AWESOME METER has managed to hit quite a high level from these actions! Using this power, you pull your TRAINING RAPIER from your POCKET MODUS and slice off some of the ham, then use your POCKET PEN to write the slice a BEATEN AROUND THE BUSH ESSAY OF WHY YOU DO NOT LIKE A PARTICULAR CHARACTERISTIC OF IT, further slicing the slice until ham bits are strewn upon the egg mix.

You then write a STRONGLY SOCRATIC LECTURE AS TO WHY THEY SUCK upon the Pepper, stabbing it clean through and tossing it into the air. You slice out a slice of the spicy vegetable, then further slice it, allowing it to accompany the ham in its flaky nature around the egg.

You quickly grab a Spatula and further aid in the solidifying process, articulating your pushes of the juices into the center, until you finally feel that the omelet has finally form. Your plate at the ready, you begin the final process: flipping the egg unto your plate.

Oh gosh the tension of this moment. You watch with wide, scoping eyes, articulating in your head the amount of tearing happening to the delicate skin compared to the speed. Finally, with an almighty flop, it successfully lands upon your plate, allowing you to take a bite of your magnificent concoction.

>Rick: Inspect damage

Wow, this sure was impractical. Just look at the mess! Good thing this is THE BEST FUCKING OMELET EVER.

>Dave: Pester next in chain

You can't. They aren't on. You'll have to wait on Josh, Glen, and Rick to actually get things done first you suppose.

Apparently going out of order with this game screws things up, or something. You don't know the details too well.

You don't particularly know much about the game at all, though Josh seems to know a bit more than you do, and you know about as much if not more than your other fellow friends playing.

Besides the point, you are growing BORED. What will you do?

>Dave: Prepare Rations

You decide it might be wise to stock up on CONSUMABLES so that you don't need to busy yourself with them mid-game. You head over to the MINIFRIDGE of the LIQUOR BAR, and ensure it's properly stocked with SODA, primarily COCA-COLA, the supreme end all be all to CARBONATED BEVERAGES OF UNHEALTHY SUGAR COUNTS.

>Dave: Descend

Again, this sounds like it demands a badass accompaniment, for god knows what reason, but you disregard the errant thought. You enter the KITCHEN, which shares the same oversized room with the FAMILY ROOM, and proceed to gather some SNACKS, mainly OVERLY SALTY TORTILLA CHIPS, PRETZELS, CHEEZ-ITS, and a beloved favorite your father introduced you to, TWIGLETS. The last one had to actually be imported from the British Isles, where your dad came to love them as a child. They are an amazing treat that is notoriously either loved or hated by the consumer, rarely is their a middle ground.

>Dave: Prepare Alternative Beverage

Given you don't really think having a fourth soda in a day would be particularly good for you, you exit out of the backdoor, en route to the LEMON TREE to prepare some fresh LEMONADE.

>Dave: Fondly Regard Surroundings

You regard your surroundings, likely less fondly than hoped. It's really routine for you to be here, nice as it is. The spectacular view of the VALLEY behind your house, while NICE you suppose, isn't as riveting to you as it is to most. You pass the POOL you never bother swimming in to the STEPS leading to the ORCHARD and GARDEN.

>Dave: Proceed to Orchard

You suppose ORCHARD isn't the correct term, given this point in the hillside looks quite gritty and barren, with a few ORANGE TREES kept alive by irrigation, if nothing else. You pass the old GARDEN which hasn't been properly used in YEARS due to THIEVING WOODLAND CREATURES, such as DEER and SQUIRRELS. Finally, you arrive at the LEMON TREE, and remove four LEMONS, catchaloguing them as you do so.

Next, you'll need to acquire WATER from the COOLER by the KITCHEN TABLE, and SUGAR from the PANTRY, so you suppose you're done down here. Better head back up to the house.

((I would like to make a request for an eventual [S]Engage, because why the fuck not.))
((Note: Bag shall be used synonymous with Sylladex))

>Josh: Get food before braving the cupboard under your mothers sink.

You return to the kitchen and enter the pantry. It's mostly empty, mostly granola bars and the like. You decide to grab a box of the 6 packs of Oreos. You fucking love Oreos. You stuff them in your bag as well as the box of granola bars.

>Josh: Escalate up the nonmoving escalator

Also known as going up the stairs. A voice in your head reminds you to be careful about the stairs. They can be slippery bastards. Naturally as you reach the top of the stairs mid thought you forget you're at the top and overstep the nonexistent step and almost fall on your face. Almost.

>Josh: Enter Thy Master of Bedrooms

You enter the room, it is empty, you wonder slightly where your mother is. Perhaps she is out reading on the patio as she stairs at the mountain. You haven't the slightest clue. You proceed from the Master Bedroom to the Master Bathroom and prepare yourself for the horror that is woman's toiletries.

>Josh: Open the cupboard

Oh god the horror. You enter a cliche face of "This is really stupid" as you fumble through the cupboard avoiding tampons and the like in search of GAUZE, PAIN MEDICINE, AND GARFIELD BANDAIDS. You find all of these things put them in a first aid box and put the box in your backpack conserving space in your bag.

>Josh: Return to computer

You return to your laptop which is sitting on your desk in your bedroom.

>Glen: Initiate preparations

You're not quite in the mood to play Hat Fortress 2 anymore. Sadly, this means you will have to look to OTHER MEANS OF PROCRASTINATION.

>Scour house for entertainment

You don't quite feel like getting up, so you squint at this command until it closely resembles "TURN ABOUT IN CHAIR AND STARE AT NEAREST OBJECT FOR AN HOUR."

>Turn about in chair, stare at nearest object for hour

You don't need to be told twice, that's just excessive.

Turning your attentions to the fabled and mysterious NECRONOMICON - wherein are contained all the known and unknown secrets of those eldritch and indescribable things that go 'bump' in the night and whenever the hell else they please - you run a hand over its ancient cover. Just thinking of the unlimited horrors contained within these pages sends a shudder down your spine.

Yeah, it's a bunch of stories you checked out from the school library two days ago. Lovecraft was still awesome, though.

==>

A desperate moan from the KITCHEN attracts your attention. You scuttle forth to investigate!

Whiskerlog wrote:

-- erraticHorizon [EH] began petting galeanthropicallyIgnescentGoluptiousIllinition [GIGI] --
GIGI: I say, good man!
GIGI: If you have within your being any vestige of decency, come forth directly and abolish this crude barrier!
GIGI: It is a wonder, an absolute marvel, that I have not bestowed this mortal coil with the glorious throes of revolt!
GIGI: Come at once, damn you!
EH: Oh huuush. :3
-- EH strokes Ginger's lustrous fur. --
GIGI: Do you seek to insult me with flattery, fool!?
GIGI: I am not a concubine, to be bought with kind words and irritable back-scratchings!
GIGI: Delay no longer, foul inhabitant! I AUTHORIZE YOU to eradicate this door.
GIGI: RIP IT FROM THE WORLD THIS INSTANT!
-- erraticHorizon [EH] has ceased petting galeanthropicallyIgnescentGoluptiousIllinition [GIGI] --

==>

You let Ginger outside. She's such a sweet little kitty!

>Dave: Check Chumdroid

You break the board containing your ANDROID SMARTPHONE, and check on CHUMDROID, finding that CW is on. He's next, might as well pester him to get ready.

Quote :

-- beastlyExperimentor [BE] began pestering cursiveWrit [CW] --
BE: Hey.
CW: Hello!
BE: It'll be a ways off, but just to let you know, you server Rick.
BE: Not even particularly sure what that entails as of yet, but I'm assuming you manipulate his game or some shit.
CW: Oh? And who will be servering me?
BE: I think I'm having Kails do that.
BE: Anyways, you don't need to do much right now. Just get ready to play I guess?
BE: To be honest, I'm a bit in the dark as to how SBURB actually functions.
CW: I'll probably spend the next hour trying to get computer access
CW: This phone is amazing
CW: But I doubt it can run the game
BE: Yeah, let's not try playing SBURB the Angry Birds edition or some shit.
CW: I imagine that would make it rather more confusing.
BE: And or incredibly shitty.
BE: Mobile apps do not transfer the fun of regular games well.
CW: I'm not yet convinced that "shitty" will not be applicable in any case
CW: I have heard very little about this game, and I like to imagine myself as well informed.
BE: I'd rather not lest I be wrong.
BE: That's why I'm going in later than most.
CW: Oh, so you're letting us "test the waters" as it were?
BE: Sure, let's go with that.
BE: Josh seems to know a bit about it, at least.
BE: Can't say I know how. Internet community's nigh mute on the subject.
CW: Really? Well, I'll have to message him to find out a little more, then, in preperation for the game.
CW: I know! I've looked everywhere I can
BE: Sure, just make sure to maybe talk with Rick too at some point.
BE: No rush there.
BE: You're 4th in.
BE: In line, I mean.
CW: Okay, so do we have any guess as to how long it takes to get "in"?
BE: No clue.
CW: :/
BE: Again, Josh knows more.
BE: Contacting him is probably the best way to go.
BE: Him and Glen should be getting started soon enough.
CW: This seems to be a disturbing trend. I dislike not being well informed.
BE: By all means, interrogate Josh to explain things, if he can.
BE: I certainly can't.
CW: Mmm. Well, I'll let you know if I learn anything interesting.
BE: Right.
BE: Ciao.
CW: Ciao.
-- beastlyExperimentor [BE] ceased pestering cursiveWrit [CW] --

Right, well, that was easy enough.

You wonder how Glen and Josh are fairing.

>Dave: Return to Dwelling

You ascend the steps out of the "ORCHARD", into the BACKYARD. You pass the the POOL, entering your house yet again. You uncaptchalogue the LEMONS, placing them near the SINK. You'll get to them in a bit.

>CW: Identify yourself

Your name is Aaron Douglas, and your interests are ecclectic as they are easily grouped. You enjoy video games and GAMING IN GENERAL, particularly such games as Halo, Minecraft, Fallout, and Magic: the scattering. In addition you have a passing fancy for SHOOTING ARROWS, though your skill with such is negligible. You particularly enjoy BIKING, and on days when you manage to get off your LAZY ASS you tend to ride for as much as, or more than, 20 kilometers.
When you aren't DISTRACTED by basically any little thing, you also enjoy WRITING, and as such spend a large amount of time learning how to write better. This has resulted in even your instant messages being Both incredibly well written and, if one should be so bold, with nary a mistake to be found. You have a habit of flying off the handle when a situation gets too hot to handle, which it often is, and are a bit of an asshat.

>Examine computer

Ah, this cursed device is once more locked away from your control... How you'll get it to run in time to take up your role in the game is as yet undecided.

>Turn on computer

You boot up the computer, and are greeted with a login screen. Great. None of your scheming ever seems to work. Your father is just too good at this! You're sure you'll come up with a suitable excuse.

>Pester Josh

You would, but you imagine he's busy trying to get the game started, something you have no intention of slowing down. Maybe once he's got it running you'll chat him up. And by chat you mean interrogate.

>Retrieve weapon of choice

You refuse to grab your bow. You'll need all the time you can get to try and get on this computer, and faffing around with a weapon you barely know how to use will hardly help you to accomplish this goal.

>try to hack the password

Hmm. This hint is cold aunt... You pull out your sylladex book and select a towel, before placing it on your chair so your father can't tell you've been sitting at it.

There is literally no end of uses for that thing.

>Rick: Watch some television

After having cleaned up the breakfast-smelling mess, you decide that a bit of winding down is in order. You head back into the living room and sit upon the couch, staring at the powered off television. After a few tense seconds, you decide that it isn’t worth it and resume contemplation, using the familiar pose of your elbow upon your leg and your cheek upon your fist.

Really, you feel as though TV just isn’t worth it anymore, not after your CRISIS OF FAITH. Despite the deeper connotations that that may imply, it’s actually a bit simpler: years in the past, but not many, after a great deal of research on the subject, you had decided to boycott any further watchings and usings of Viacom’s products.

It seemed simple enough; you knew Viacom’s BASIC CHANNELS of Nickelodeon, MTV, and Comedy Central. You loathed the former two, making it quite easy on yourself. The latter was a bit trickier to wean yourself off of, but eventually you done it. After those successful attempts at boycotting those incredibly popular channels, you started to move onto their bigger, more POWERFUL COMPANIES: DreamWorks and Paramount.

Now, you were young at the time, and naturally it was difficult to get yourself to hate the animation company. Fortunately, a miracle happen that managed to get you off it for good. Which is to say, they deeply wronged you in one of their more popular movies, How To Train Your Dragon. Just the mere remembrance of this movie brings ample amounts of RAGE to you, mainly because YOU READ THE BOOK FIRST.

That’s not to say that it isn’t polarizing: You and your close friend AS share several similar interests, and are usually on great terms with each other, but this is quite definitely the biggest POINT OF DISAGREEMENT you have with her. Fortunately, this is also why you two NEVER BRING IT UP.

Then came Paramount. This one was even harder, mainly because it was ONE OF THE BIGGEST NAME PRODUCERS IN AMERICA right behind Universal. Banning this from yourself meant kicking away several famous movies, including their line of MARVEL HEROES line of movies, and the fountain of memes that was THE AVENGERS. It also means you are incredibly stingy about whose producing a movie when watching its trailer. Nonetheless, you still manage to do so.

After that finally came truly what would be the difficult of their companies to boycott: CBS. Upon retrospection, this was much easier said than done. It greatly disheartens you to find so many of the programs you, your family, and your friends enjoy belonging to their BALEFUL CLAWS.

You shift over to just lying on the couch, sighing. You really begin to wonder if maybe your attempt at being one person against an entire EMPIRE OF EVIL really isn’t worth it…

…

… Nahhhhh. You shift back to sitting and grab your iPester. You really need to figure out why you don’t have a lot of HOPE on the matter. Maybe you’re just BORED. You notice that the aforementioned AS is online, so you decide to speak with her.

Quote :

-- airedOriginator [AO] began pestering artisticSeraph [AS] --
AO : 'Lo.
AS : Ohai
AO : ^BARKBARKBAcrapnostopasdhfkljh
AO : Sorry, that's been happening a lot recently.
AS : Uh.... ok...
AO : So, ready for the game?
AS : The game? Of course! Mom's sleeping so I have some time.
AO : Excellent!
AO : ^So... uh, what's new with you^
AO : doingitagainwhoops^
AS : Oh not much... I'm just sitting here drawing. You?
AO : Well, I'm trying to find some bloody info on the game, but it seems to remain awfully mysterious.
AS : Well it IS a new game...
AO : Although Dave grabbing it ridiculously early is probably to blame for this. Not that I'm complaining, of course.
AS : What do you think it'll be like?
AO : Well, by the sounds of it it sounds to be something incredibly cooperative. Working as a team is great, of course, but I'm worried about the collisions of... you know whose...
AS : Hehe... yeah
AO : So... you mentioned you were drawing something. ^You're greatly artistic, you know. I'd love to see it soon.^
AO : ^wagwagwagBLAGHHECKWHATAMIDOING^
AS : Of course! It's not really done yet, but it should be once it's all inked and stuff
AS : I... don't know what you're doing...
AO : Argh, well I'd love to see it once it's finished!^ Anyways, I need to go see if my comp is ready to except the game. By Dave's description, it sounds almost too good to be true...
AS : Hmm... I guess I'll see what the others are up to
AO : ^Ciao!^
-- airedOriginator [AO] ceased pestering artisticSeraph [AS] --

After that bit of ship teasing, you decide that it’s about time to check your COMPUTER.

>Josh: Pester

Quote :

-- mysteriousLupis [ML] began pestering cursiveWrit [CW] at 17:01 --
[05:01] ML: Hey
[05:01] ML: I'm just kind of waiting to begin
[05:01] ML: and you're online
[05:01] ML: so
[05:01] ML: hey
[05:02] CW: Oh? and do you happen to know what begining might entail?
[05:02] CW: I'm rather in the dark on that topic
[05:02] ML: Well, it's sort of complicated.
[05:02] ML: Do you have the game and everything?
[05:02] ML: I could fetch you the link
[05:02] ML: it's sort of sketchy
[05:02] CW: I already downloaded it
[05:02] ML: but it's all we can get for a top secret beta
[05:02] ML: Okay okay
[05:02] ML: good
[05:02] ML: Just making sure
[05:03] CW: I've been trying to find everything I can about it, and I can hardly do that without downloading it.
[05:03] ML: Of course
[05:03] ML: Well
[05:03] ML: I know a bit about it already
[05:03] ML: what I've read in faqs and stuff
[05:03] ML: but they only ever get so far
[05:03] CW: Oh? I haven't even been able to find any faqs!
[05:04] ML: They're sort of hard to find, you have to know where to look.
[05:04] CW: So basically I need to look in places I wouldn't think to look, then?
[05:04] ML: Yeah, places game developers wouldn't think to look
[05:05] ML: generally they get taken down pretty fast
[05:05] ML: because it's supposed to be top secret and all
[05:05] ML: Apparently some guy got his house broken into
[05:05] ML: because he was sharing info he sholdn't have been
[05:05] ML: It's kind of abig deal
[05:05] CW: that's messed up.
[05:05] ML: Yeah
[05:05] ML: but what can you do
[05:06] CW: and really just makes me more curious. I don't think they were expecting people like me, and you apparently. :D
[05:06] ML: I suppose not, but a part of me feels like it's only a matter of time before they come knocking on my door
[05:06] CW: Well then, we just need to get this game running and learn what we can, don't we?
[05:07] ML: Yes we do
[05:07] ML: I'm waiting on Mata
[05:09] CW: I'll be sure to pester him next time I get a chance, then.
[05:09] ML: Good good
[05:09] ML: I'm gonna go now
[05:09] CW: Okay
[05:09] CW: wait
[05:09] CW: before you go
[05:09] ML: Hm?
[05:10] CW: Any thoughts on what "Cold aunt" could mean?
[05:10] CW: :/
[05:10] ML: Cold Aunt?
[05:10] ML: The hell?
[05:10] CW: yeah.
[05:10] ML: Where did you hear that?
[05:10] CW: It's the password hint for my computer
[05:10] CW: And I need to try to figure it out to get on.
[05:11] CW: My dad is heinous with these things.
[05:11] ML: I'll see what I can do.
[05:11] ML: i'm not much of a hacker, but I can try.
[05:11] CW: It's usually a pun
[05:11] CW: or stupid joke
[05:11] CW: I was just hoping you might have heard something similiar.
[05:11] ML: Cold aunt, hot uncle?
[05:11] ML: i don't know
[05:12] CW: Tried that
[05:12] CW: ah well, looks like you can't help, :/
[05:12] ML: Hm, well, I honestly don't have a clue.
[05:12] CW: Talk to you later, then.
[05:12] ML: See ya soon
[05:12] ML: I think
[05:12] CW: probably
[05:12] CW: Bye
-- mysteriousLupis [ML] ceased pestering cursiveWrit [CW] at 17:012 --

You think to yourself that Mata should get his ass online.

Yeah I'm talking to you Mata, I know you're reading this.

>Glen: Waste more time

You think you've got some HOMEWORK hidden around here somewhere. It most likely won't be too big of a deal to just finish that up real quick, now won't it?

>Bedoop: BEDOOP

Pesterlog wrote:

[08:58] -- beastlyExperimentor [BE] began pestering erraticHorizon [EH] at 20:58 --
[08:58] BE: Are you and Josh playing yet?
[08:58] EH: Wait what? o:
[08:58] EH: Oh crap, are we first in?
[08:59] BE: Oh, shit, I forgot to mention that, didn't I?
[08:59] EH: Oh um.
[08:59] EH: Yeeeeeeeah. o3o;
[08:59] EH: Might've done, might've done.
[08:59] BE: Figured you two would've touched base by now I guess.
[08:59] BE: Yeah, you are first server.
[08:59] EH: I guess I was just busy with other stuff! >3<;
[08:59] EH: Should I just. Message him, then? Are we ready to get going? :D
[08:59] BE: Makes sense I guess.
[08:59] BE: I hope so.
[08:59] BE: I tried to make sure everyone would be ready more or less when they came on.
[09:00] BE: I just kind of need you guys getting your shit in gear so we can get the ball rolling on everyone else.
[09:00] EH: Well I will get right on that. >u<;
[09:00] EH: Sorry for the delay...
[09:00] BE: It's fine.
[09:01] BE: Let's just hope Mister Lupis isn't barking mad.
[09:01] BE: Ciao.
[09:01] -- beastlyExperimentor [BE] ceased pestering erraticHorizon [EH] at 21:01 --
[09:01] EH: Basi o:
[09:02] -- erraticHorizon [EH] ceased pestering beastlyExperimentor [BE] at 21:02 --

Looks like things are really getting going.

>Pester Josh

Pesterlog wrote:

-- erraticHorizon [EH] began pestering mysteriousLupis [ML] at 20:58 --
EH: Hey! Sorry it took me so long... I guess you guys were waiting on me -A-;
EH: But I'm here now.
EH: So... How exactly do we get this thing started? o3o;

>Josh: Respond

Quote :

ML: Well, I have to run the client game, and you run the server and then you connect to me, and the magic begins.

>Josh: Run the client

DOOOOOOOOO DOOOOOOO
The following is covered by some epic music. (Use your imagination)
The spirograph appears on your screen and spins around a bit while loading and then just stops. It doesn't move. The only thing youc an access is pesterchum.

Quote :

ML: Alright
ML: I think I am good.

Pesterlog wrote:

EH: Ooooh okay!
EH: Boy, it is OOOOOOOOOOOON NOW.
EH: On like a... Like a...
EH: Like a something. I'm sure we'll figure that out directly. -w-;

>Glen: Run server

Run, server, run! See server run. Glen sees server run. A fancy graphical display illuminates your eyeballs for several minutes, and in a short amount of time you are connected to Josh.

Pesterlog wrote:

EH: Oh. My gawd.
EH: I mean I've seen your room before but.
EH: This is simply astounding! *u* I can toss your junk everywhere!

>Ruthlessly destroy your friend's room Test extent of abilities

Using the oversized cursor, you attempt to pick up what appears to be Josh's BED and fling it about.

Quote :

ML: Oh wow, watch it.
ML: I sleep in that you crazy bastard.
ML: It's a comfy bed.

>Josh: Scramble to clean room.

You scramble, picking up all your clothes and putting them in your closet.

No

Nobody must know.

You hide the red felt and sewing supplies in your closet as well. Nobody.

Pesterlog wrote:

EH: Whoops sorry... o3o;
EH: I just don't know what went wrong!

>Make sense

There is just so much stuff to this game. You attempt to comprehend every button, every single tiny little aesthetically-green icon.

Pesterlog wrote:

EH: Hmmms...
EH: From what ah can teeeeeell, I can basically manipulate your entire room!
EH: Like, there are so many tools on here. For extending walls, building stairs, adding ladders...
EH: It's a bit like a giant game of Sims. Except for real.
EH: How is this even possible? xD
EH: I think. I think we should all just make the assumption that this is just a dream or something.
EH: WELL AHM GOING TO MILK THIS DREAM LIKE A RENTED HEIFER.

Sadly, your abilities are limited by some sort of currency, termed 'grist' and displayed as curious red Fruit-Gusher-looking shapes. There are, however, several oddly-named constructs that may be deployed free of charge!

Pesterlog wrote:

EH: SAY 'MOO,' REALITY...

With one graceful click-and-drag motion, you expunge an ALCHEMITER into what appears to be the kitchen.

Quote :

ML: What was that noise?

>Josh: Go downstairs

You proceed down the stairs and what the ever loving fuck.

Quote :

ML: What the hell, you crushed the island, my mom is gonna be pissed.

>Josh: Try and figure out what the device is.

You get up on top of the device.

Quote :

ML: I read about this thing. It's used to make other things.
ML: I know, great description.