Dimensional clash V: The Blood God's Wrath; Act VI: Dawn of War

Krei-Shal's head tilted by the side and lowered his bow, unsure whether to be confused or fascinated by this human, and the utter nonsense that was pouring out of it's mouth. However, the more he explained, the more he seemed to understand the severity of his situation; and yet, he also got more confused. How the hell did he get here? Who was this man, who was this Phoenix Wright? What was a Californian? So many questions had to be answered, but were force to wait until they were out of a battle zone. How was moving forward through the future, or moving through universes possible? Was it some sort of ancient magic? God, he hated wizards and mages.

So far, this Phoenix person was the first person to not try to kill him, and the least he could to to repay that was to help him out. However silly this whole "Champions" thing sounds. His head turned to look at this raven, squawking something about "nevermore". It echoed once more in a foreboding "nevermore" after fluttering around and making a smooth landing next to Wright. Was this bird warning us about s-- “THE WALL IS DOWN! THE TARGET AWAITS! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!”

Why yes.

Yes it was.

He watched as Phoenix started to panic as the heavyset of footsteps started to making it's way up the stairwell at an alarming pace. If that were the case, their perpetrators couldn't be friendly. A jumble of words escaped his mouth as he leaped out the window (and made a girly cry while doing so), ushering him to do the same. Oh how bad could they be? He looked over down the stairwell and saw two massive behemoths decked with heavy looking armor practically sprinting their way up. "Oh..."

Realizing the severity of this situation, he understood the fear that hugged Wright's heart, and really, looking at these big guys, he figured it would be a good idea to do the same. He ran over to the window sill and looked down and - how the fuck did Wright survive that fall, let alone not break his legs? God damn. He looked behind him to see the chaos space marines pursuing him, proceeding to open fire. Large beams of energy shot out at Krei-Shal as he ducked down, making them zoom out through the window. Well, it looks like the thu'um was the only way out of this...

Krei-Shal scurried over to stand on top of the window sill and turned to face the marines that intended to kill him, with no arrow drawn or anything. They pulled their guns up and right before they pulled the trigger, he shouted...

"Feim zii gron!"

Near instantly, Krei-Shal's turned transparent and ghostly, and a laser shot moved right through him ethereal form. He turned around and leaped away from the window and onto the top of the building Wright was on without even flinching, and lacking even so much as a scratch. He immediately turned to Wright, with his senses finally recovered, he decided to take action once more, despite the alien world he is now set in. "We need to get inside another building now and take cover, regroup if we need to. You may know this world better than I do, so you take the lead," he said taking command as he drew and arrow and notched it on the string of his bow, "I'll watch your back."

Fillmore: Slog.

This place was positively mucked with gel.

"Uhhhh!" I said, lifting a tire and watching the gel stretch before snapping back to the surface of the goopy liquid. "Uuuuururrrrrgh!" I laughed, lifting my two front tires.

What? I'd just been betrayed by a metal ball. Can't I have fun?

"Quit fooling around," GLaDOS chided. "Find me!"

"How am I supposed to find you in all of this goop?! You're a potato!"

"You figure it out."

I spotted her. But then I decided to have a bit more fun. I sank under the gel and held my breath. I slogged through the gel, and when I reached the potato..."

"RRRROAR I AM THE SLIMEMONSTER!!!" I yelled, jumping into the air and letting slime trickle down my tires and face. "BBBLLALAAARRGH! I WILL TURN YOU INTO FRENCH FRIES!"

"Was that supposed to scare me? It only mildly amused me," GLaDOS said. "Focus, car! We have to find a way out of here!"

"Hey, don't look at me, I'm not a boat," I said.

"The last time... oh, dear, you don't have a portal gun, do you? I'm not exactly in control anymore, thanks to you."

"You were trying to kill me. I don't sympathize with you." I picked up the potato with my doors (I was going to have a major car wash after this!) and slogged around, looking for an exit.

"Do you think I'll fit down that gel release tube?" I asked.

"Maybe, if you were rounder," GLaDOS snarked.

I checked the tube. "Come on, man, it's not that small---"

"First of all, I am not a 'man,;" GLaDOS grumbled, "and second, who knows where that pipe leads?"

"Well, it won't do any good if we don't find out." I drove in.

"What are you doing? Stop! HIT THE BRAKES!"

I didn't listen. I slid down the pipe like a bus. Because I am.

I slipped up into the air, did a flip, and landed on my wheels, rolling forward a bit before hitting the brakes. "Huh, they have a safety grate," I said, tapping the metal grate that I landed on.

"That's because the Destroyers had too many soldiers falling into the incineration pit," GLaDOS explained.

A fireball erupted next to me. "As long as you avoid the fireballs, you should be just fine."

"Well, I'm out of here!" I sped forward, the fireballs erupting behind me. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!" I screamed.

I crashed through the door. "We are in the basement of the Destroyer base," GLaDOS said. "I know we don't like each other... I could call it downright hatred. But we are going to have to work together if we are to take down Wheatley."

"I can't trust you," I said. "How do I know you're not just going to throw me into the pit again?"

"You don't."

In frustration, I clanged on the floor and drove down a long corridor.

All of a sudden, four panels blasted forward and trapped us together. "HA HA HA!!!" Wheatley's voice rang. "I've got you! Now, we have a few tests to run, if you would be so kind!"

The panels raised. I was being picked up by shifting panels that eased me upward. "Don't want to hurt the test subject!"

"Great. He found out about the testing rooms. He probably wrecked them," GLaDOS muttered.

"There's no dillydallying! Let's start, shall we?"

I was in a cavernous room. The exit door was right there. "The challenge is to get through that door," Wheatley said.

"This isn't creative or intensive at all!" GLaDOS complained.

"Oh, yes, it is very intensive and creative! Watch! He'll never get past the room!"

There was absolutely nothing in the room except me and the exit door. I drove down the room and passed into the exit room.

"How did he do that?" Wheatley gasped.

"Idiot," GLaDOS muttered.

"Ah, well, on to the next test."

The elevator I was in moved up.

"This next test will have you enter the next exit door!" Wheatley said.

"There's no difference between this room and the last one," I commented.

"Yes there is!" All of a sudden, small panels opened up on the wall next to me. "I wrote the word 'TEST' on that wall! It's different!"

I rolled my eyes and drove through the next exit door.

"What? It was ingenious!" Wheatley cried.

"It was un-genius," GLaDOS grumbled.

The elevator moved up. This was incredibly boring. He made me go through five more rooms like this.

The next room contained some variation: there was a ramp with a speed panel. "Enter the exit door," Wheatley commanded.

"Do I even have to say--" I began, driving toward the exit door. But then...

KAPWING!!!

I was launched back to where I started. "Ha! Now there's a little something! PANELS!" Wheatley gloated.

I rolled my eyes and drove up the ramp, sailing over the panels and heading into the exit door. "WHAT?!" Wheatley cried, honestly astonished. "I am honestly astonished!"

Theed

Nodding his head in silent agreement to the lizard-man’s strategy, Phoenix quickly darted over to the side of the gardened building in order to survey their current surroundings, searching for any safe place that might still be untouched by the onslaught of the invading daemons.

As he gazed across the torn city, he couldn’t help but notice that the numbers of the daemons and other Destroyer forces were thinning. Through some strokes of luck, it almost looked like they still had a chance at surviving this long siege.

Wait, long? Why was that ‘long’? Hasn’t this battle only lasted for a good many hours? For a siege, that is surprisingly short. Why does it feel as though it has taken longer than any battle they had ever fought before? Phoenix wrote it off as the effects of the strength of the daemons, and wear starting to set upon the Champions.

Finally, he managed to spot GLaDOS, currently in her transformed mode of the Aperture Science Facilities. He remembered that she was acting as a refuge for a good part of the city’s citizens. He swung around to shout over to the lizard-man, ”The big white building in the center of the city. We’ll head over there.”

Outside of Theed

Theed was the primary target of protection for the Champions, so it was only logical for many of them to have made their way out of the battlefield and into the city in order to put an end to the Destroyer forces flowing through the cracks in the walls. The unfortunate part to this is that the forces outside the walls were still prominent, meaning that the few Champions who didn’t run back into the city were now faced with some rather stunning odds.

King Corobo was one of the few Champions who remained fighting outside the city. His commands soared over the battlefield, known to all his forces, and striking fear into the hearts of his enemies when he called out for their area to be attacked. Soldiers of several different factions blindly obeyed as, with a single wave of the king’s scepter, he pointed at a clump of Destroyer soldiers, essentially ordering their executions.

However, his leadership was not enough to fully hold off the vast hordes of Daemons and corrupted Space Marines that simply poured past him. Occasionally, he flipped his scepter to use its other end, which was fashioned as a sword, with which he fell many a passing foe. Not even the loved and feared king’s swordplay, though, could seem to make a difference to the vast hordes streaming in.

Noticing a Prospitian whom was formerly an advisor, Corobo quickly pulled him aside, proceeding to ask, ”Alright, there is clearly something wrong here. Why are all the Champions pent up in the city? We are being stormed, with no end in sight, and I don’t see any good colossus helping out here. How’s GLaDOS? I thought she was right under our feet.”

The carapace alien quickly pulled out a clipboard, reading off some facts. “My liege, GLaDOS is currently under operation as a safe-zone for the citizens and is protecting the inner city walls, which are breached and being swarmed by the forces of Chaos. However, my lordship, our numbers show that we have been doing significant damage to the enemy, our calculations showing that they are starting to reach the ends of their reserves.”

”Excellent. Now if only it actually seemed like that. You are dismissed.”

With a bow, the Prospitian was about to proceed to head back into the fray, until a heavily damaged Chaos Space Marine, apparently now in a berserker frenzy, proceeded to descend from above, and cleave the Carapacian in two. Corobo, barely dodging the blow, quickly took the sword side of his scepter and plunged it into bruised neck area of the Daemonic soldier, effectively decapitating it.

It was like this for a while, various orders being issued left and right as the Destroyer forces rumbled past him. It eventually reached a high point when King Corobo, out of boredom from the repetitiveness of his situation, took his sword and outright leapt into the fray, about to take a Daemon head on, until it simply shouldered him aside and ran past, shouting back at him something along the lines of it having better skulls to add to the Skull Throne.

Finally, the young king eventually noticed an enormous, multi-pedal Chaos Spawn, apparently about to be used as a battery ram against the walls, slowly striding its way through the hordes of attacking Champions soldiers. As firepower was unleashed in loads upon it, seeming to have no effect whatsoever upon the goat-like abomination, Corobo eventually ordered the troops to fall back, under the idea of waiting to see if it reveals an opening.

The soldiers reeled back as the young king, about half a kilometer away, pointed his sword at the triple-mansion-size spawn of the Warp, which so happened to be (slowly) making its way towards him. However, before he could heroically charge up to it, he felt a hand clasp his left arm. Before he could tell the intention of this motion, he was quickly shoved aside.

Now in his place stood Agatha, armed with an absolutely colossal firearm, larger than about the size of a common cannon. With a fierce command of, “OUT OF THE WAY!” one could watch the firepower charge within the weapon, until it finally gave off a fierce beam of some energy that no one really cares about. The shot impacted onto the ground, unleashing a flurry of rubble and dirt, leaving a massive crater in its wake.

Corobo, shocked by a myriad of things, regained his footing and stomped over to the Heterodyne, demanding in a harsh, but still regal, tone, ”And just WHAT do you think you’re doing? Disobeying orders, shoving me aside… and for all of that you bloody MISSED! I should have you execut-“

However, having none of the pretentious bull-crap that she was so used to getting from nobles, Agatha simply jabbed a thumb over towards the colossal Chaos Spawn, which many a soldier was gaping at. This was due to the fact that the crater managed to hit and place itself rather close upon the Spawn’s footing.

It was clear that with its many legs, the Chaos Spawn was attempting to recover its footing and veer away from the hole, but it was too late, and the monster tumbled into the ground, and down into the crater. Finally, the soldiers crowded around the struggling abomination trapped within its hole, and proceeded to unleash as much firepower as they could upon the creature’s underside, seeming to be its weakpoint.

Agathat, a smug smirk on her face, simply grabbed her dual Death Rays and charged back into the fray, leaving a stunned Corobo to growl and mutter various swears under his breath before finally regaining his kingly stature and issuing forth orders again.

Sami: Come out, guns blazing.

No! It's a madhouse out there!

The Orange Star infantry marched alongside some Confederates and Union soldiers. Tanks rumbled down the battlefield, mowing several things down that I don't want to describe. The infantry and bazooka-wielding mech units fired upon a single Chaos Space Marine. The genetically altered soldier scoffed and swept them away with three blasts from his gun.

Deunan and Gru jumped into the fray, Deunan toting a laser cannon while Gru held his Death Ball Ray. Gru charged his death ball and fired at the Space Marine, while Deunan blasted shots from her gun. I pulled up my own machine gun and aided them.

Oh, right, these guys have hard, impenetrable armor that is impossible to get through.

"Gru! Freeze 'em!" I shouted.

"With pleasure!" the supervillain sneered, hefting his Freeze Ray and sweeping it over a row of Destroyers.

Mario flew overhead and froze heads with snowballs. I saw a wolf crash to the ground, his head encased in an ice cube. Three monsters with big pink lips fell like stones. Mario then spun in the air, his clothes changing into a raccoon suit. A brown tail stuck out from his rear end. The suit quickly changed color to a white-and-gold scheme. Mario twirled in the air and knocked some flying demons out of the sky.

The fact that the natural monsters were attacking both sides didn't help either. Percy was busy trying to fend off a rock creature that attacked both him and the Destroyers. Acorns swarmed the Orange Star bombers, while these creatures that kept changing from red to green and back to red again kept people guessing on how to attack.

The Lor Starcutter flew overhead, blasting stars and energy orbs. Magolor gave a thumbs-up.

Meanwhile, Sonic seemed to be performing: he was doing graceful spins and twirls, as if mocking the Destroyers. Then he spun his legs quickly, taunting: "You're too slow!"

How long have we been out here? I'm pretty sure some of us need to pee.

"Hey, Sami, I am going to have to use the restroom right now," Gru said.

Then he did the most utterly disgusting thing I could ever imagine. He unzipped his fly, pulled down his pants, and began to gush urine all over the Destroyers. It was the most grotesque event I have ever witnessed. I am sorry that I ever had to describe it to you.

"Gru, I'm pretty sure that's not healthy," I said tersely, when I noticed that his urine was still going.

"What? I haven't gone for this entire roleplay," Gru replied, not turning around to face me. There are children here, you know. I hope Adeleine's not watching.

Gru finished his fearsome business, and asked for toilet paper. Some of the newer-looking Chaos Space Marines stood in shock. They have never come across a more unorthodox, a more disgusting form of attack in their lives.

"Ha! You should be seeing the looks on your faces!" Gru jeered.

"Just wipe and keep freezing," Magolor complained, jumping down and handing Gru some T.P.

Magolor whistled for the Lor to come back down and swoop him up. He clambered into the ship before anything could regain its senses.

Urgh. Ew.

On a more pleasant note, the Iron Giant was practically invincible. It was stomping around and crushing things by accident. It was saying "Oops!" and "Oh!" in its big, creaky, iron voice. Destroyers fired missiles at it, and they bounced off without doing anything.

"Wow. Talk about anticlimactic," Gru commented.

"Who cares? As long as this guy isn't going down," I said.

Zorbak: Kick dogs.

I went to a local dog shelter. Just for kicks.

In fact, I had teleported into a dog kennel, filled with puppies ripe for the kicking.

I began to go around and kick dogs. I kicked them high, I kicked them low. I punted, bunted, and shunted them. I used dark magic to kick further. I used dogs to kick other dogs, and the dogs that I kicked came back and kicked themselves.

Ah, the wonders of dark magic!

Rosalina: Something is bothering you.

This is wrong. I am the protector of the Mushroom Universe. I sense that multiple timelines are in peril right now.

I ran out onto the roof of the tower I currently was on. Light began to shine around me, and I felt myself lift into the air.

Peach and Daisy ran outside. "Wait, where ya going?" Daisy yelled.

"Something is amiss. I sense that this may only be a distraction. There are forces great in number in our own universe! As its protector, I shall do my duty and---"

The rest was lost with the wind. I could not communicate with Daisy from such a distance. A shame. The Comet Observatory did not have wireless Internet, and our AT&T did not cover cross-universe calls.

LOCATION: Mushroom Kingdom

The Comet Observatory arced over Earth, casting a kind blue light and illuminating the dark. The reactor in the Observatory seemed to glow brighter against the cloud of the Ing. Earth seemed to illuminate, to reflect the light back toward us, as if they acknowledged the Observatory's presence, and saw it as a sign of hope.

I materialized on the planet's surface. Several Ing were screeching in pain. The light, to them, burned. Even the soft, kind blue light of the Observatory was like a fierce flame.

It was quite annoying.

"Silence, wrongdoers," I muttered, swinging my baton around. A white arc appeared where I slashed the baton, sending a solar flare toward the Ing. They burned. The flare dissipated when I held out my arm and shattered it. The light danced about for a bit before fading.

Several columns of dark energy (the evil-magic kind) burst from the route to Sarasaland, Daisy's home. It seemed a good idea to investigate.

It is quite sad that no matter who builds and creates something, there is always someone else who aims to break it down. But the beauty of our nature is that we are able to build it right back up. It is just upsetting when we do not have the perseverance to rebuild it.

Erops: Time for a brief interlude.

I'm bored now. Can you believe that absolutely nothing has happened yet?

Geez, okay, let's take a look at the standings. Some CHAOZ SPESS MAHREENS are going and killing children (I disapprove), Dark Lord Gaol has taken over Sarasaland (I disapprove), Von Karma is threatening to take over the Mushroom Kingdom (again, I disapprove), and Track Arachnis has incapacitated Toad (I disapprove).

On the bright side, it's Team Magnus 1, Ing 0, as one of their hard woods has been chopped to kindling. The incapacitator, Track Arachnis, was beaten up by rocks (kudos to Daisy), Gru has just peed all over a group of SPESS MAHREEN recruits, and we've got this awesome Skyrim dragon guy that's YOR-TOH-SHUL-ing his way through the Destroyers. Plus, with Rosalina in the Mushroom Kingdom to help Magnus and Wiggler, things should brighten up in a bit.

Anyway, now for a little word from our sponsor.

George the Volcano

"To help the Champions overcome those horrible Destroyers, they drink tasty Volvic to fill their bones with Volcanicity!" I said, blasting several packages of Volvic into the air and sending them to Theed.

The dark clouds obscured the view of my handsome volcano rocks from the prehistoric landscape. I can't find Tyrannosaurus Alan anywhere! I know HE's always up for my wild mineral water!

Rain filtered down through my handsome volcano rocks, cascading down my slopes and hills. "Ah, I always love a good rain. It helps me maintain my volcanicity!" I sighed.

But while I was relaxing, trouble struck.

Three airplanes were coming toward me. They had swastikas painted on their wings and tailfin. "DEATH TO THE VOLCANO!!!!" they screamed in German. "HEIL THE EMPEROR!"

"You three need some VOLCANICITY!!!!" I shouted, blasting a geyser of Volvic toward the airplanes. The effect was like a high-pressure hose. A gigantic high-pressure hose, loaded with volcanicity.

The water knocked the airplanes out of the sky, and sent them spiraling toward the prehistoric forest. The pilots jumped out in parachutes, cursing in German.

A large, futuristic-looking airplane flew across the sky. Large, bulky, evil, genetically modified soldiers smashed onto my handsome volcano rocks, before planting bombs on my hide.

"No, you don't!" I said. I sloshed Volvic in my mouth before carefully spitting it on the bombs, dislodging them and causing them to tumble down my handsome volcano rocks. I rumbled once, and they flew into the air, before detonating and sending several more airplanes spiraling. I saw the soldiers flying through the air as well. For good measure, I sprayed Volvic at them. "I'm the daddy now!" I roared.

DESTROYERS' BASE

A Dersite ran up to Manfred. "Oh, forgive me for being the bearer of bad news, my liege," said the Carapacian, "but it appears that the Champions have a mysterious prehistoric benefactor that's blasting some of our elite troops into oblivion!"

The Dersite cowered in fear, trembling. When he wasn't dead, he continued: "It's been suggested that we deploy one of our biggest, most monstrous commanders into the area. We've been able to contact him and de-flush him, and I think he'll be a match for the volcano!"

He clutched his head, silently praying that he would live to see the next five minutes.

Zorbak: Kick all the dogs!

So many puppies to punt! I kicked them off walls, off the ceiling, and off each other!

Hold on, I'm getting a call. I tapped the skull on my staff, and a dark magic display appeared. Oh, it's from Lord Shen.

"Zorbak! What are you doing?!" Shen hissed.

"Just having some ebil fun, you know!"

"This is war, not a game, you idiotic rabbit!"

"Hey, who ya callin' a---"

"Zorbak. I need you to find my prisoner. He has escaped!"

"Escaped? Which prisoner? You mean the tall green one nobody cares about?"

"Yes, I mean that man! Mario's brother!"

"Ah, don't worry, Shen," I said. "I'll track him down."

I shut off the skull. "Now... What sorts of ebil magic can I do to track him down...?"

LOCATION: An opera house in 19th-century France

He had been bruised and battered.

He had been tortured beyond belief. His face had been mangled, and he looked hideous. Those who saw his face drew back in fear.

His only option was to hide.

Hide, until he was healed, and he could return to the world.

Then, he would avenge the world he had lost. The world they all had lost.

Lying in the rafters of an opera house, he listened.

Two men were talking.

"Ever heard ze legend of the Phantom of the Opera?" asked one.

"Who hasn't? He haunts the opera houses, singing along with the sing-airs, as well as sometimes damaging sets."

"Some say he lurks in this opera house, preparing each performance night to strike...

"Aw, those are just silly lezhends. Zere is no 'Phantom of ze Opera!"

He thought to himself. Phantom of the Opera, eh?

A costume box lay in the corner of the attic. He walked to it and found a cloak and a mask.

He had found his way to hide. He would become the Phantom of the Opera.

LOCATION: Driftveil City, Unova

"Go! Crustle!" Hilda shouted. She threw her Poke Ball, and an orange hermit crab with a large concrete block on its back appeared. "Crustle, use Rock Slide!" Hilda commanded.

The hermit crab raised its claws and smashed the ground. Boulders flew into the air. Crustle then jumped into the air and smashed the rocks at Cofagrigus. The sarcophagus was entombed in a barrage of boulders.

Hilda sighed at the other Trainer. "When is this guy going to let up?" she asked.

"I dunno," the other Trainer said. "Dennis, I choose you!"

A Gigalith appeared. "Dennis, Flash Cannon!"

Dennis opened his mouth and it flashed. The orange crystals on his body began to glow. He fired a Flash Cannon attack that blasted into the boulders and pulverized the Cofagrigus. The sarcophagus flew into the air and clanged on the ground. "W'eel, you help out, too!" the trainer said.

A Klinklang appeared from its Poke Ball. W'eel gyrated faster and faster, electricity sparking between its spikes. It let loose the charge at Cofagrigus. The Pokemon screeched in pain, and clanged to the ground, fainted.

The Cofagrigus's owner, a member of Team Plasma, gasped. "You couldn't... Master Ghetsis will... AUGH! PLASMAAA!"

He fled.

"I really wish they wouldn't say that," Hilda complained. "It's embarrassing."

"Huh. Plasma will be plasma," the other trainer said, shrugging. "W'eel, Dennis, good job. Return."

The two sturdy Pokemon disappeared into their capsules.

Theed

Blood was shed, fighters felled, and the city was crumbling all around. It was as if there was no end to what the Destroyers could throw at the heroes. Horrifying cries for the dark gods rang throughout the cityscape as daemons simply swamped the land. However, over time, it felt as though that there were less daemons on a street than there were previously. Indeed, their numbers were thinning.

Finally, the Champions endurance has paid off. With many commands suddenly being issues forth across the daemons and other various Destroyer forces, many began to be (begrudgingly head back through the cracks in the walls, with those in the field running back towards camp. Indeed, this siege is not over, but there is relent from the enemy.

Destroyer Camp

Her Imperious Condescension, a grimace on her face upon watching the now-violently-depleted Second Wave retreat back to the camp, leaned on her trident in a rather bored, condescending manner. A screen, floating around her yet facing her so that only she may communicate with whatever’s on it, bore the form of Manfred von Karma, who as well seemed quite condescending of the situation at hand.

Eventually, the silent conversation between the two finally obtained sound when the former of the previously mentioned two muttered, ”It seems I may )(ave miscalculated the strengt)( of t)(ose glubbers.”

”They certainly are a pain. However, they certainly are showing signs of wear. I suppose the next wave ought to finish them off.” Manfred calmly sounded off, although not sounding any less pretentious, ”Anyways, I was never informed as to your full plan. I would like to hear about how you plan to eradicate them.”

At this, the Troll Empress smiled wickedly. ”You see, from )(ere on out t)(ere will be t)(e T)(ird Wave, in w)(ic)( I’ll t)(row Gl’bgolyb at t)(em. A rat)(er sick gambit if I do say so mys)(elf. W)(ale it may only be just one version of )(er amongst several timelines, s)(e’s still an important figure among the Noble Circle of )(orrorterrors, w)(ic)( as we know is allies wit)( t)(e Outer Gods, one of our c)(ief anemones.”

”Please,” bemoaned the prosecutor, ”You have the right to tone down the fish puns. Despite that, so far, I can observe where this is going.”

”If t)(e C)(ampions kill my former lusus, t)(hen t)(is will cause some )(uge disputes amongst our enemies, and furt)(er weaken t)(em. If I can manage to extract the Vast Glub early and destroy the C)(ampions… well I assume that even you could piece that conclusion toget)(er.”

Manfred appeared snide from his angled view, rolling his optics. ”Yes, if the Champions destroy Gl’bgolyb, there would be quite an outcry amongst the Noble Circle. However, you miss the short sight: in the event that they DO defeat her, then that means they are still alive. What about yourself? If they can destroy a version of the staple of one of the most powerful sub-factions around, then I wouldn’t think that you could take them head on.”

”Ba)(, Sindri promised a fres)( load of reinforcements during t)(e battle. In t)(e event t)(at Gl’bgolyb is jawbeast-bait, w)(ic)( is )(ig)(ly unlikely unto its)(elf, t)(e glubbers will just get swamped.”

His head in his hand, Manfred seemed to mull over what Her Imperious Condescension said, until finally arriving at a conclusion as sounds began to rumble across the transmission. ”It seems that I have business to attend to, what with servants running all around like headless chickens, interrupting my train of thought without a care in the world. However, I so far can see no flaw in your plan. Happy hunting.” And with that, the electronic screen blinked out.

DESTROYER CAMP PLACE

The Dersite sighed. He wasn't going to die after all. Maybe the monstrous mechanical man didn't hear him.

He scampered into another room and told his fellow Dersites to contact their enormous ally.

George the Volcano: Get them off your handsome volcano rocks!

"WHO'S THIRSTY?!" I boomed, pouring another tidal wave of water down my craggy lower lip. Volvic blasted down my handsome volcano rocks, sending the army pouring down my boulders like an avalanche. They probably would have broken every bone in their body if they had not been wearing their armor.

But then, something began to rumble.

And then, I was extremely upset that dinosaurs never cleaned up after their business.




All of a sudden, an enormous pile of dung rose in the distance. He was holding a screaming piece of corn in his hand. His mouth opened very wide, and he shoved it into his brown, smelly gums. His eyes were yellowish-white under craggy, crumbly brown eyebrows.

"That's one huge piece of corn," I noted.

He slogged toward me, bobbing back and forth and killing every plant and animal in his way. He was a gigantic behemoth made entirely of poo.

He cleared his throat, still trudging toward me. "Mi-mi-mi-miiiiii," he sang, tuning himself.

"I am the Great Mighty Poo,
and I'm going to throw my !$?#@ at you!
A huge supply of tish
Comes from my chocolate starfish
How about some scat, you little !$@#?

He reached into his body and pulled out a large ball of dung. Before I could react, he flung the poo ball at me, and it sailed into my face. Poo splattered all over me, covering my handsome volcano rocks in disgusting slop.

The next time he threw a poo ball, I was ready. I sprayed a jet of water into it, dissolving the poo and causing it to disperse all over, fertilizing the plants. "Even the Great Mighty Poo is no match for my Volcanicity!" I noted, gushing water at his face.

But I couldn't believe it! The Volvic just washed right off! The poo that comprised his body dropped to the ground and was picked right back up as he moved threateningly toward me.

I know it sounds hilarious, but an enormous mound of poo that kills everything it touches is... well, threatening.

He opened his mouth to sing. "Aahh-ha-haaaa, a-ha-ha, aahh-ha-haaaa, a-ha-ha, aa-a-aaaaaa, a-ha-ha-ha, ha, ah-aaaahh, ah ah----"

I sprayed Volvic in his mouth. It went down the wrong pipe in surprise. The Great Mighty Poo choked, gasped, and wheezed, appearing to be drowning. He disappeared into his slop pile, before emerging again, and puking diarrhea.

"Do you really think you'll survive in here,
You don't seem to know which creek you're in!
Sweet corn is the only thing that makes it through my rear
How d'you think I keep this lovely grin?"

He showed off his yellow, sweet-corn teeth.

"Have some more caviar!" he bellowed, pulling another poo ball and throwing it at me. I sprayed it with Volvic and it exploded.

"I'll turn you to diarrhea!" I boomed back, flushing him out with water. The Great Mighty Poo took a few steps(?) back, but then began to crawl forward again, throwing more poo.

He threw another poo ball at me, and I was forced to bat it away. It sailed into the distance. I heard a triceratops roar.

"Aahh-ha-haaaa, a-ha-ha, aahh-ha-haaaa, a-ha-ha, aa-a-aaaaaa, a-ha-ha-ha, ha, ah-aaaahh, ah ah----"

I got his mouth again. The Mighty Poo half-drowned again.

He descended into his poo pile, which flattened out to cover a wider area.

To my left, his body emerged, though smaller than before.

"Now I'm really getting rather mad," the poo sang, before moving to my right,
"You're like a niggly tiggly sh!%$y little tag nut!"
He retracted and popped back out in the center. "When I've knocked you out with all my bab,"
He then retracted, and all three bodies appeared and sang in unison. "I'm going to take your head and ram it up my butt!"

"Your butt?" I asked.

"My butt!" he shouted.

"Your BUTT?" I can't believe he has a butt.

"That's right my butt!"

"Ew."

"My butt!"

"URGH!"

"MY BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTT!"

All three bodies flung poo at me, and all three poo balls splattered on my handsome volcano rocks.

They were shifting about, throwing poop at my crags. It was an epic battle of crag versus clag, and the Great Mighty Poo was on his last-ditch attempt to rid me from the Omniverse.

They collected into one entity. "A-ha-haaa, ha ha!" he sang. I sprayed water at him, but he disappeared to the right.

"A-ha-haaa, ha ha!" I sprayed. He disappeared to the left.

This time I was ready. When he sang the third time, "Aaaah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha---" I sprayed the center.

"BBBLLEEAAUGH! ACK! HACK-COUGH-HACK!"

He then went into an arpeggio.

"Aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa..." As he sang higher and higher, more Great Mighty Poo bodies appeared around me, to sing the chord.

"Aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa..."

"Aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa..."

"Aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa..." The prehistoric jungle began to rumble. Underground water veins began to bubble, with the booming of the Great Mighty Poo's soprano voice.

A geyser of Volvic burst from my volcanic opening. Quite frankly, it burst from below me, too. The ground exploded, sending wild mineral water erupting from underground.

The Poo's many bodies began to toss piles of poop at me. They all used both hands to fling their feces. I was being pelted by tons of poop, all running underground into my precious water supply. My Volvic was being tainted!

So that must be why the Destroyers sent the Mighty Poo! They wanted my water supply to be contaminated so that the Champions couldn't receive any more Volvic... oh, they have a plan for everything, don't they?

More and more poo was being dropped into my underground reservoir. Pretty soon, the bowels will completely absorb the water, and we'd have to change our product name to Volvic Mineral Diarrhea.

I wish there was some way to flush these guys...

Wait.

Toilets. Water. Flush... Volcano...

I have a plan!

The reservoir bubbled under me. It was a plan that I had never attempted before. It was an unspeakable, a deplorable, a despicable plan! It was a plan that would rival even the eating of Brussels sprouts (they go right through you, by the way). It was a plan that was more disgustingly horrifying than the iniquity of the Destroyers themselves!

But I had to do it. For the sake of the Champions I sponsor. For the sake of the Omniverse.

I am going to flush the Great Mighty Poo away. Into SPACE!

The water level rose steadily. As waves crashed against the prehistoric dirt, the walls began to cave in. The poo began to slowly drip into my water supply. I cringed at the thought, then steeled myself, willing the water to rise higher. It began to swirl. I held my breath and...

I did it. A horrible gurgling sound ensued.

"AHHH! You cursed volcano! Look what you've done! I'm flushing! I'm flushing!" cried the Great Mighty Poo. "Oh, what a world, what a world, who'd have thought a good little volcano like you could destroy my beautiful clagginess?! Oh, I'm going! Oh! Oh! NO! NO! AAAAAAAAHHHH---"

SHLOOP! SCHLOPP! SPLAT!

The last drop of Great Mighty Poo disappeared.

I relaxed.

A ginormous eruption of diarrhea ensued. From my stack, I blew the ENTIRE GREAT MIGHTY POO and a JUNGLE'S worth of fecal matter straight into the heavens! It was a beautiful sight and a horrible sight at the same time.

"So long, Great Mighty Poo!" I taunted. "Send me a postcard!"

The last drop flew out of my handsome volcano rocks. It flew into the sky, and twinkled when it was out of sight.

"He was a pretty crappy singer, anyway," I said to myself.

LOCATION: Space!

A metal core drifted through the atmosphere like a satellite. "Space. Space. So much space. Gotta take it all---"

BBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

The core was dripping with poo by the time it had landed on the moon. It bounced once, twice, and rolled on the ground, before halting in front of an American flag.

"Tired of poo now. Want to go to space," the core muttered.

LOCATION: MUSHROOM KINGDOM

"Those fools. I knew it wasn't going to work," Lord Shen hissed, looking through the viewing screen. He shoved the screen away. "We are going to have to recollect him."

"Do we have to, boss?" asked one wolf. "That guy smelled worse than all our butts combined!"

"You would know, Carl," said a Trunkov. "Besides, Carl isn't even a Chinese name--"

"We're not in China, are we?" the wolf snarled, threatening to smash the Trunkov's windshield.

Krei-Shal followed him keeping his arrow notched and looking over the edge of the building they were running on top of, and he witnessed a kind of warfare unimaginable back in Mundus. Streaks of pure heat whizzed back and forth, and one shot over his head. It was off by a good three feet or more, but he could still feel the radiating heat on his scales. Finally the got to the far edge where Phoenix stopped and looked around, before sharing his plan. Krei-Shal nodded as he pulled back the on the notched arrow, stretching the bow's string. "Like I said," he said as the thu'um's effect wore off, "I got your back, just lead the way."

Just as he finished his sentence a loud crashing resonating from behind him. He turned his head to see that the two chaos marines that had pursued them from before finally had the bullocks to follow them. After regaining their footing the put their guns up and started running towards them.

"Make it quick, Phoenix!" He shouted to him as he launched an arrow into one of their necks but left them unhindered. They were covered in armor, it seemed impossible! Even the dwarven centurions were easier to--

Dwarven centurions... hitting them in the knee may temporarily disable them.

Krei-Shal loaded another arrow onto his bow and aimed carefully at his constant moving target. It would be hard to hit a certain spot on the legs but maybe if he could just do it... he could spare them some time. He exhaled for a moment and through his eyes, time seemed to slow down. He carefully counted and measured the time between each step, and right when they were about two hundred feet away and closing in, he released the string and watched as the arrow whizzed to meet it's target. The arrow lodged itself in the armor of the marine's knee and watched his enemy stumble and fall off the edge of the building as the chaos space marine took an arrow to the knee.

"Go!"

Destroyer Camp

As Her Imperious Condescension leaned upon her mighty trident, she eventually received word from a scout that the waited-upon group of Slaaneshis, bringing forth their mighty cargo of the tortured, beaten, bound emissary of the Noble Circle of Horrorterrors, had arrived. She quickly regained her regal composure, and turned away from her view of the slight dot of Theed on the horizon, to an astonishingly immense Warp-gate, about a few kilometers away.

From the Warp-gate stormed out a (relatively small) horde of Slaaneshi daemons, with a Daemon Prince in the lead, turned around and seemingly giving directions to the rest of the group still behind the portal. Finally, the beginnings of the Slaaneshi storage unit (in the most basic sense), in the shape of a gigantic, bleeding, writhing uterus, began to phase through the gate.

As the abominable sight slowly came closer, until it finally made a stop somewhere in a safe distance in front of the camp of villains, the Daemon Prince approached the menacing form of the giant Troll empress. The Condesce couldn’t help but notice its grotesque appearance, with four legs adorned with fishnets (which were also barbed, and seemingly spewing with electricity), and large, clam-like vaginas between the thighs. The Troll empress also noticed the stupefying amount of breasts it had on its torso and back, all seeping milk from their numerous teats. To top it all off, from its mouth spewed a massive tongue, one so long that the Condesce was certain would be longer than the average adult Troll if standing upright.

Slaaneshis. Boy, do they like to be disgusting enough that most forums would ban an RP should they be fully described within it.

Extending its mouth into a bull-horn like shape, the daemon proceeded to announce in a rather loud, lisp-filled, breathy voice, ”Commander of the Dethroyerth, we have egthacted your withes, and after having brutally tortured thith verthion of the emithary of Horrorterrorth, we prethent her, bloody beaten, to do ath you pleath.”

A malicious smile erupted from the visage of Her Imperious Condescension, before she asked of the Daemon Prince the exact means of torture they performed upon her.

A smile, mirroring that of the empress, seemed to creep across the face of the daemon, before it finally responded, ”Onth we have captured her and took her to our bathe of operationth, we notithed that thee had no orifithes with which we could egthact our pleathure upon. We attempted her mouth, but any and all meanth, be them clampth or our great thonic battery ramth, her implauthibly powerful jawth tore through. We tried carving holeth in the Horrorterror, but we could find no phythical form underneath her vatht hide of tentacleth. Any and all thcouth thent were cruthed.”

“To uth, there ith no greater crime than an inability to rape. We bound her tentacleth in anutheth, and capped them with puthieth, then thubjected her to whipping, fire, electric shocks, boiling acid, and anything elth we could get our handth on. In the end, thee was beaten within inthes of her life, her thcarth theeping with oothe. Then, we healed her, and proceeded to repeat the proceth about theventeen more timeth, until we healed her again, thtuffed her into a thorage unit, and carted her off to here. Ith there any of that you are not pleathured by?”

The Condesce grinned in an absolutely monstrous manner from hearing the myriad of horrible things inflicted upon her former lusus. She calmly shook her gilled head as to affirm to the Daemon Prince that there was nothing about their torturous ways she was dissatisfied with. With a point of her finger, she pointed at the city of Theed, but a mere speck in the horizon, and gave them permission to ravish the entire city, whilst obeying her orders as to how to destroy the Champions.

Hearing this, the Daemon Prince nodded, then turned to leave her majesty’s presence and fulfill the orders. However, before doing so, it quickly announced that it was hungry, and turned to see a Stormtrooper having watched her conversation. In a horrific flash, the beast raised its front legs, and a gush of red, velvety organs spewed forth from the front vagina of the beast, quickly wrapping around the mook, and then pulling it in at lightning-fast speeds.

However, it was only fast on pulling it too the Daemon Prince. As the Stormtrooper smacked against its form, it proceeded to lift his bewildered head against the opening of the dripping, writhing mound, and slowly, savoring every screaming moment, carefully slid the form into the worn clam. Anyone could hear the terrified, blood-curdling screams of the soldier, but it was no use, slowly, he was digested further and further, until eventually his feet vanished from sight. The torso of the beast stretched and screamed with life, but eventually, it passed.

The Daemon Prince looked back up at her Imperious Condescension, and with a wicked grin, simply stated, ”Do not fret: he thall know true blith once thafely in the realm of Thlaanesh.”

And so the Daemon Prince left to the outer reaches of the camp, and watched as the uterus proceeded to slowly spit the beaten emissary out. The colossal, tentacle-filled form of Gl’bgolyb was now in full view to the Destroyers, but definitely not as imposing as they thought. Gigantic bands of anuses tied many strands of tentacles together, soaking her in brown, revolting, scent-defiling sludge. Vaginas, even more horrifically large than the anuses, capped the top of the writhing appendages, and slowly drenched forth a creamy mixture.

Handlers, with a (phallic-looking) stick connecting to the binds, with many especially connecting to the anus wrapping the maw of Gl’bgolyb, charged forth upon the plain, along with the other Slaaneshis sauntering by them, all ready to unleash but mere fragments of Slaanesh’s divine load upon the city of Theed.

Just a couple of Psykers couldn’t help but somehow faintly overhear a thought passing through, something along the lines of, ”Noble Circle… Outer Gods… Yog-Sothoth… forgive for what these spawns of Chaos are about to force me to commit.” Of course, they paid it no heed.

Percy: Get on!

Cragalanche charged at me. "He waited THIS LONG to attack?" I grumbled. I sidestepped and raised my arm. Water from an underground pipe burst into the air and flew at the rock monster. Cragalanche roared and barreled toward me, arms spinning like windmills. I slid under him and found that his butt was bare as a baboon's. I threw Riptide into Cragalanche's craggy keister, and the rock soldier howled in pain. Riptide returned to my pocket, and that's when Cragalanche got mad and charged toward me again.

Except he never connected.

A car had flown down and bashed Cragalanche in the face, chipping his lower lip and sending him spiraling into the wall above me. I stepped to the side and let Cragalanche tumble to the ground.

Kate was adjusting the car's license plate. "So, Percy, apparently some giant purple monster's here to kill us all. It's not safe to stay put any---"

EXPLOSION!

The car rattled in what seemed to be exasperation, as it honked violently and its wheels rattled. "Chitty, stop!" Kate cried.

"Did you just talk to that car--- Hey, I think I know that car! Isn't that the car from that one movie?"

"Um, sure. Just get in!" Kate cried.

The car rattled once, twice, then spread its wings and took off. It popped and rattled, making a "CHITTY-CHITTY-BANG-BANG" as it sped forward.

"Oh... That's where I've seen the car!" I said, slapping my forehead.

Magolor: Holy cuss.

What? I thought cussing was anything but holy...

Anyway, I heard the bangs and crashes, and I jumped into the Lor and flew into the air.

And I saw the purple thingy.

"Ancients of Halcandra!" I cried. "Look at the size of that thing!"

Warning lights were appearing everywhere on the Lor's screen, pointing at the monstrous beast. "Yeah, yeah, I got it," I grumbled. I pushed the Lor forward, but the thing jarred to a halt.

Well, I couldn't blame the Lor. Attacking the flying purple people eater? Bad idea.

I spun around and flew overhead. Peach and Daisy were in cars, being chased by a legion of evil tanks.

"Hey, guys!" I shouted, before opening fire upon the evil tanks. The star-shaped bolts blasted them to pieces, and I turned around and flew over Peach and Daisy, the Lor's shadow veiling them. "You need backup?"

"PLEASE!" they both cried at the same time.

"I will now play my card of trumping!" Fawful exclaimed, laying out his plan to the rest of the Destroyers. "The Champions. They are soon to be expecting a visit from the monster of green fury! And we will use the fury of the monster to destroy them! The monster of green fury shall be wrecking of the city! The wrecking of the city our great cake! And the storming of the city shall be the frosting on that cake! THE FROSTING OF THEIR DOOM!"

"So this plan will make them die, right?" Ganon asked.

Fawful glared at Ganon. "NOOO-OOO! We are NOT to be KILLING of the CHAMPIONS," he drawled, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "because WE are to be MAKING OF THE HAPPY CHILDREN'S SHOW FRIENDS with the CHAMPIONS. No! It would be like a candy that has been dropped in a sewer if we do not soon become of the carrying out of this plan!"

His normal grin returned. "And now, let us show them the true might of fury! If this works, I will have CHORTLES! And we will ALL have chortles, as well!" Fawful laughed evilly, his teeth clacking up and down.

"Now... Let us go wake the monster of green rage!"

Bruce Banner: Wake up and become nervous.

Uhhhh... My head...

I stood up and looked around me. Oh, no. A city. The other guy was definitely going to come up and smash everything.

Two people ran by. "Excuse me---"

A car drove past me. "Uh, pardon---"

Two go-karts and a large blue ship passed. "Okay, now I'm dreaming."

"Excuse me, sir?" asked a young, feminine voice. I turned, and saw a little girl in a green smock and a red beret. She was holding a palette and a brush.

Oh, you have got to be kidding me. There's kids here, too. I am not going to endanger any lives of children if the other guy does come up.

"Are you lost?" asked the girl. She was so precious. A shame that the other guy doesn't care.

"Yes," I said to the girl. "Hey, what's your name?"

"Adeleine," she quipped.

"Listen, Adeleine, you might not want to hang around here. There's another guy that is always threatening to come up. I don't want you in the range of fire," I said to her.

"What?" she asked.

I had left. Too much trouble, if the other guy came up and went bonkers on the town.

LOCATION: Destroyer Headquarters

Fawful sneered. "Soon, this plan is to be in the order of working! And--- THE MEANING OF THIS IS WHAT?!"

Fawful gaped at the screen and saw Mario running around and fireballing any Destroyers that came close. "I am not of the understanding of this! The horribleness! It is the red fink-rat of mustachedness! He was of giving the mustard of doom back to me in the years that were a few back!"

He grinned, his mouth watering at the thought of revenge. "Muo-ho-ho! Now it is being of the chance of me to be obtaining of the sweetness of revenge!"

I just love the way Fawful talks--

Fawful: HEY! YOU MUST BE KEEPING OF THE CAMERA ON MY VISAGE OF BEAUTIFULNESS!

"And this sweetness of revenge will be the syrup of chocolate on the sundae of victory! The syrup... of DESTRUCTION! Plus, this brings closer of me to the Monster of Green Fury, so there will be easiness in bringing the full fury out upon my enemies!"

Fawful gleefully jumped onto a teleporter and slapped on his Vacuum Helmet. "I am OFF, with CHORTLES!"

Poof!

LOCATION: Mushroom Kingdom

Rosalina: Finally catch up to Wiggler and Magnus.

I saw the caterpillar walking down the path with a muscular man holding an enormous sword. "Hello?" I called to them.

The large man turned around. "Listen, ma'am, you might not want to go on this journey with us. It's dangerous for a little lady like you---"

I stepped up to the man and looked him in the eye. "I think you will find the protector of the stars to be much more than a 'little lady,'" I said sternly.

Several Heartless crept up around us. "Here's your chance to prove it, miss," the muscular man said.

The Wiggler next to him glared at the Heartless, brandishing a tennis racket.

"I will, then," I said to the man, raising my baton. It began to glow.

The Heartless lunged.

I swept my baton around and a portal appeared. A Chain Chomp burst out of the portal, barking and snarling at the Heartless, its metal teeth gnashing, its chain stretching taut as it violently smashed around the Heartless, crashing into them. I saw the post through the portal coming out of the ground.

SCHLOCKK!

The post tore out of the ground. The Chomp, now free, barked, and romped about, crushing the Heartless as it went. The man and Wiggler gaped.

I threw a bone into the portal and the Chomp went back in. I closed the portal behind it, crossed my arms, and said, "Happy?"

"Wow," the man said.

Wiggler nodded.

Outside Theed

The horrible scent of sweat, blood, semen, and feces smacked the city of Theed like a wave against a beachfront, like a blow across the head, like a city just about to be tormented by the servants of Slaanesh. Arceus, standing upon the great wall and staring down the approaching emissary and her daemonic escort, the Alpha One’s presence displaying tranquility with an underlying grimness, proceeded to duck and turn her head away as the stench struck the city.

Inch by inch, the Gl’bgolyb and the Slaaneshis seemed to blot out the lowering sun, casting a startling eclipse across the city. Bentley stood (or rather, sat) steadfastly by Arceus’ side, binoculars placed firmly against his eyes.

”Welp, by my quick mental calculations, it seems that I can produce three separate descriptions for our situation. These descriptions are as followed: ghastly, nightmarish, and bad. As we can see, our most probable course of action, assuming that the Condesce still has reserves…”

The Alpha One glanced over to the bearer of the light of the Green Sun, who had taken his binoculars off his (still-glasses-wearing) eyes, and seemed to be staring off into space. Arceus clicked one of her feet against the grounds, prompting Bentley to shake. ”Sorry, I was trying to find the right words to put this accurately yet delicately. So far, here is my conclusion: our most probably course of action is to duck our heads, partake in some yoga, and kiss our sorry butts goodbye.”

~

Once Gl’bgolyb and the Slaaneshis finally reached a distance that the Champions’ artillery could hit, the battle had already begun. The sudden appearance of the Grey Knights proved to be incredibly useful to combating a fine chunk of the Slaaneshis, and suppressing some of the ludicrously powerful psychic capabilities of the imprisoned emissary of Horrorterrors, but they themselves weren’t the key to stopping them outright.

Indeed, despite the presence of the Slaaneshis, it was Gl’bgolyb who posed to be the strongest adversary. This suddenly became excruciatingly obvious once many began to realize that the emissary hadn’t even acted yet; she was still bound and trapped. The immense psychic power emitting from her was an accident, not actual attacks at the Champions, but maddening shifts in reality from her presence just being there.

Finally, once within a close distance of the city, the Daemon Prince at the front of the Slaaneshi horde glanced towards the city and back to Gl’bgolyb. With a phallic-like claw thrust to the Champions atop the wall, the Daemon Prince announced, ”THIS QUIET OFFENDS SLAANESH. THINGS SHALL GET LOUD NOW.”

With the roar of several blood-curdling screeches arising from the horde, the feces-spewing anus trapping the emissary’s mouth seemed to rumble and quake, before a white streak ran down its middle. In an explosion of gore and foul-smelling matter, the anus broke in two. However, after a series of several bright flashes, the other terrifying bonds holding the tentacles of the emissary began to glow with a great shine, erupting several gigantic sparks from their fleshy forms. Indeed, they were electrocuting Gl’bgolyb.

Soon, the eldritch horror was alight with the shine of electricity, the shock visibly coursing through its form. Finally, after several minutes of watching the poor emissary writhe in silent pain, her maw gave but the smallest of partings, and sound was brought forth from the depths of her form.

Verbally, only the slightest, smallest, most insignificant of decibels were heard, only rising in a small crescendo. That said, with that faint, insignificant whisper, the siege wall cracked. It soon cracked some more, slowly until the fissures covered the entire outer wall. Finally, in a shower of rubble and splinters, the wall came crashing down.

As the volume slowly raised, so too did the cracks, and eventual destructions, of the siege walls guarding the city. Finally, after a few tense seconds of destruction, every wall had completely fallen into not but hills of rubble and wood. And with the slightest other decibel raised, the protected civilians began to complain of intense headaches.

If there was ever a time to strike with full force, it was now.

Fawful: Time to be executing of the plan!

Eurgh! This place is smelling of the sweat and man-gravy!

Nevertheless, I have a rage monster to begin a rampage for!!!

"Fawfully-doo, where are you? ♪ Rage-monster, needing you! ♪ Green-rage, yoo-hoo! ♪ WHERE TO FIND YOU?! ♪"

I am now of the coming of across from a man who is stuck in the rubble! He is having of the fury, and I am seeing of the green in his eyes!

"Ohoho! What is Fawful having of HERE?" I teased.

"Grrr.. Get back..." the man is saying for me to do. But I am having of a plan to create! A FANTABULOUS PLAN!

"A-ha! Fawful thinks you are not looking of the very powerful sitting under the rubble! Fawful thinks you to be very, very stupid to be of the letting of Globbity-glyb into the walls!"

"What did you say?!" the man began to growl. More of the green was flashing in his eyes. This is being of the BRILLIANTNESS! Now, I am having of the steak of victory! And now, for the putting of the seasoning of rage, and the barbecue sauce of doom!

"Fawful say, GET UP! But you are not of the being able to get up! You cannot lift the---"

The man roared a roar of primalness. My grin widened even further. My beautiful plan worked! All the reading of the comic books has paid off, and with the thanks of Cackletta letting me be buying of these books!

All of a sudden, the man is beginning of the changing! I shook my fists up and down in anticipation for the coming of the monster of green fury!

3rd person

Bruce felt an overwhelming rage wash over him. He slammed the ground, cracks webbing toward Fawful. Banner roared, his jaw becoming more square as he began to grow larger... and more and more of the color of broccoli. His skin was tinged with green, as if he had nausea.

The shirt he was wearing began to feel awfully tight. Oh, no, Bruce thought, his mind clouding, I fell for it again... Now whhh"aaaAAOOOAOOOOORRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!" Bruce's thoughts quickly were buried under the green rage that he currently felt.

Bruce snarled, veins in his neck contracting as his shoulders began to creak, his bones hardening for the transformation to come. Slowly, his arms began to grow larger and larger, the linens of his shirt springing and popping as his muscle mass exponentially increased.

By now, he was able to lift the rubble off of him, and he beat his chest in complete anger, tearing the shirt completely apart. His chest was a horrifying sight. The chest hairs were slowly retreating into his skin, for s#!t was about to get real. Patches of pink and green skin dotted his body, and then it was just green. His pectoral muscles surged forward, stretching the skin to the limit, as he let out another few animal-like grunts. His biceps, by this time, were the size of a distance runner's thigh, and still, were at it.

Fawful grinned at his handiwork, mocking Bruce as he danced around, speeding up the furious transformation.

His forearms were slowly turning green as glowing veins of gamma-damaged cells appeared throughout the lymph of his body. One could see green blood cells flowing through his circulatory system if they had the guts to examine him in his state of anger, but nobody did, and so, nobody does. His shoes were getting rather tight, and with the little rational thought he had left, he tore them off so that he could wear them later.

Now, his calves and quads were about the diameter of an oil barrel by now, creaking and threatening to snap his bones. Bruce hunched over, his back exploding with rippling muscles, smashing his fists into the ground like a gorilla. He then roared again and arced backward, his abdominal muscles bursting forth and hardening until they were harder than a titanium alloy (and probably the PINGAS of any transformation fetishes out there).

"Ha-ha-ha! This is better than Queen Bean and the Belly Blech Worm!" Fawful cackled.

With one final roar, Bruce's facial features hardened and became more angular, becoming unrecognizable from his previous form. His eyes flashed green once, and he lunged at Fawful.

Enter... the Incredible Hulk.

Mario: Now what?

OW! MY EARS! THEY-A BURN!

Oh, great! We've-a got Genital Boy over here tryin' to kill us, and we hear a roar over by yonder! I'm-a go check---

I was punched into a wall by an angry, giant green wall of flesh.

"RRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

"Mama-mia!" I cried, running away with my cape flowing behind me.

However, I felt a violent yank, and I began to choke. "AAAAA---AACK! MAM---AAA-AAAACK--MMMMMIA---AAH!!!"

I heard glass shatter, and Toad's scream. I could not-a see anything! The monster that's-a got me is-a swinging me 'round 'n round over and over again!

"HEEHEEHEE, HAHAHA, AND GUFFAW-GUFFAWFUL! I AM HAVING THE CHORTLES!" I heard a familiar voice.

Peach ran up. "Fawful!" she yelled.

"Hee-hee, that's me! I'm the one who was the behinding of the setting of the rage monster!"

"Figures," Peach said.

"LITTLE HELP---AAAAHHHGGGHHH!!!" I gasped.

The monster slammed me into the ground. In shock, I stared up at the sky.

"Nyah-nyah, you are not being of the ability to catch me!" Fawful jeered, and his vacuum helmet popped open its--- Ahh! I can't take it anymore! It's hard to narrate when you're sitting on the ground in shock! Please, take over, Peach!

Peach: Take over for Mario.

I gasped. "Mario! We need to get him to the hospital!"

Magolor's ship floated down. "I'll get him to the hospital, assuming any of it's still left after ol' Screamy over there blew its head off and smashed the walls!" Magolor said, taking Mario and throwing him into the Lor Starcutter and flying away.

"Hey! Fawful! You little green jerk!" I picked up a rock and threw it at him.

Fawful turned around. "It is a fight you are asking for, is it not? HA!"

That's it. My vision turned red. I erupted in flames.

"Oh, you have your little emotional powers of vibe? I am having of a HULK!"

The hulk of a man roared at me and tried to smash me.

My flames flickered out. The only emotion I was feeling now was complete and utter terror.

I burst into tears and ran as fast as I could (the sadness vibe helped a lot). Not because Fawful's words hurt me, but because the MONSTER WAS CHASING AFTER ME!!!!

"Why is this guy working with him?!" I cried out, my voice choking up as a side effect from the vibe.

Daisy: Wait, what?

I just saw Peach run really fast past me. I was showered with tears. "Hey! Watch--- oh."

That's when the monster crashed shortly after.

"What the---"

"I HAVE FURY!"

Okay. Fawful? Now we're getting nutzo.

"HEY! FAWFUL! HOW DID YOU GET YOUR HANDS ON THAT GUY?!" I cried, really loudly.

"My hands? The hands of Fawful have not been gotten on the monster! Instead, the help of Fawful was instituted to begin the rampage that shall be the destruction of Theed! And, YOU!"

I punched him really hard. He went sailing into this giant green mound of flesh. The giant beast's head turned around.

"She did it," Fawful said quietly.

I am now going to proceed to say something that us E-rated video game characters hardly ever say.

"Oh, crap."

"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Muscle-bound Mutant

THE INCREDIBLE HULK

SMASH!

I crashed into a wall. Geez, there is so much wall-smashing in this post, isn't there?

"Okay," I said, dusting myself off and glaring at the beast, "you wanna do this the hard way, beefcake? Have at ya! Come on!"

I put up my dukes. A bell sounded.

The monstrous mutant man jumped in front of me and slammed the ground, creating a shockwave that I jumped over. He angrily reached toward me but I ducked under his huge fist and stomped his foot.

For once I was thankful I was wearing heels. Unfortunately, they didn't really help much. Man, this guy's skin is like IRON! Green, fleshy, extremely muscular iron.

He threw a fist toward me.

Gosh. Here's a little side note. I'm surprised I wasn't smashed into a grease spot yet.

Oh, yeah, about that fist. I jumped on top of it and shouted, "MISSED ME!"

I picked up my old steampipe and flipped it in my hand. I clonked it over the monster's head.

I stared at the pipe, which had been dented into a face-shaped metal sculpture. "Hey, I can sell---"

I was punched again.

Three walls. That's how many I smashed through. Peach's head split open after one. At least I have something to brag about when we all get back home.

Although, having a thick skull isn't a compliment...

Oh, here comes the monster. He roared, looking for me. When his great green foot appeared over me, I raised my gloved hands and flipped behind me.

I heard a loud crash and I was launched out of the rubble. I hung from a chandelier, waiting for Green Giant down there to find me.

I was breathing heavily. My chest heaved up and down. My hair was frizzed all over my face. Hanging onto the chandelier with one hand, I brushed the hair out of my face with the other. Hair-over-the-face is Rosalina's thing. NOT mine!

I looked down. Something was missing. "Hey, where's---"

The chandelier dropped. Thank goodness the Mushroom Landers are really resistant to long falls... it took Mario a long time to gain resistance, he's from Brooklyn.

The green man raised his fists above his head as he descended upon me.

"HULK..."

I gasped and rolled out of the way.

"SMASH!"

Even so, the shockwave knocked me into the air.

Way into the air.

Uh-oh.

Wait, right, long-fall resistance, Mario characters. Hah, to think I was actually worried about--

And... the green monster's jumping.

And winding up his fists.

Okay. Now, I can say...

"UH-OH!"

I was sent flying, but not in the direction I was probably supposed to head if that hulk of a man smashed me! "Hey, thanks, Jenny!" I sighed. "What a relief!"

"Hey, Daisy, if you're gonna fight that guy, you're gonna need backup!" Jenny said, spinning around and heading the other direction.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Who said I WANTED to fight him? FAWFUL turned him on me!" I protested.

"Who's Fawful?" asked Jenny.

"Oops. I'll tell you later."

"So you're gonna fight the giant rage monster?"

"Heck no!"

I heard a roar. I saw a small shape accelerating toward us.

Okay, okay, that was no small shape. That was the big guy.

"DIVE!" I shouted. The teenage robot took a sharp drop and the monster sailed over us. I looked behind and saw a building come crashing down.

"Ohhhh... I think that'll raise some taxes," I said.

"Hey, at least this place doesn't have to worry about the IRS," Jenny replied. "You think we should warn Prime?"

"Agreed."

Later...

"PRIMEPRIMEPRIMEPRIMEPRIMEPRIME!" we cried, flying in front of the grand Autobot's face. "Bad news! Globbity-gloyb isn't the only thing we have to worry about!" Jenny explained.

"We've got a villain from Mario's past here, and he's just unleashed a giant green... hulk of a man that just tried to mash me to pieces for throwing a Destroyer at him!" I added. "He has enormous muscles and can probably pick up BOTH Iron Giants and hurl them past the world record for the hammer throw! I would know what that is, I was at the Olympics!"

>[S] Battle: Rage.

Appropriate listening:

Stabbing his blade into the face of an incoming Avatar warmech which sparked as it collapsed to the ground. Turning around, Optimus sliced open the guts of an incoming frost giant before stepping forth to treat an undead titan with the full force of his shoulder mounted railcannons, the deafening crack of the hypersonic rounds splitting the air before sending the fragments of the undead creature flying in all directions as the grey knights worked to hold the daemons back, at least one daemon falling every time they took a slash or a shot.

Taking out his axe, the autobot leader sliced a horde of incoming warrior ing in half, the burning blade causing them to ignite as he brought his foot to kick a ing possessed decepticon away before firing his gatling cannon into it, using incendiary rounds for maximum shine, sending the thing collapsing to the ground as he spun around and fired a barrage of missiles into incoming space pirates, sending the remains of the zebesian menaces flying into the sky, one limb flying past John and Rose.

John came spinning in with the warhammer of zillyhoo, the rainbow nimbus of energy gathering around the hammer searing the bodies of the ing in the horde as he jumped forward and brought his hammer in a wide arc, smashing a chaos space marine in the side and sending him flying into the air while Rose jumped onto the shoulders of a Dark Eldar grotesque and jabbed the quills of echidna into the sides of it's head before firing, incinerating it's head in a single burning motion.

Kicking off, Rose fired off a long, piercing stream of burning white light that incinerated an entire line of Epsilon initiates, who did not even have time to scream as they were incinerated while John came around in a spinning human tornado, holding out his hammer and sending an entire line of Nazi Power armoured troopers skywards in bloody chunks as the warhammer of zillyhoo eradicated them from existence. As a covenant brute came up behind them, John turned around and brought his hammer in a massive uppercut, sending the head of the brute flying into the air and past Fordo and Sylux.

Fordo blazed into a series of stormtroopers with his blaster pistols, watching as their bodies erupted into bloody craters from the exploding blue bolts before taking out his force sabre and then slicing across the neck of a shadow trooper who collapsed to the ground screaming as his soul was ignited and consumed. Sylux came in from behind, vaulting over his shoulders, his back mounted spidery limbs slashing around him in wide arcs, sending the scattered limbs of Japanese soldiers flying all around him, blood burning on his energy shield.

Kicking an errant traitor guardsmen in the face, Sylux sent him straight into the waiting fire lane of fordo, who blasted him apart with one of his blaster pistols before stabbing his sabre into the chest of a screeching Barbed Devil that burst into psychic flames before using the force to crush a dozen bearded devils into a bloody pulp while Sylux came down to the ground and fired off his combi-beam in a massive lance of energy that he scythed around, cutting down an incoming force of Minotaurs who flopped over onto the Ground before he jumped into the air and took aim with a super missile that streaked by Jade and Dave.

Dave sidestepped the super missile as it slammed into the head of a bezerker knight that fell to the ground as it's head erupted into a gory ruin, running up the flank of a King Oni and then jumping onto it's shoulders, his power armoured body swinging the royal deringer in a low arc that cut it's massive head from it's neck before kicking into it's back, sending it collapsing downwards and crushing an angry horde of combine soldiers beneath it's six story frame.

Jade used her abilities over space to disable gravity for thousands of incoming Slaugth, sending the worm beasts flinging upwards into the air and into the vacuum of space as she blocked fire from their rot guns with her space powers, redirecting them into an incoming swarm of Hrud, who fell to the ground in rapidly decaying heaps as the beams impacted them. Turning around, she then increased the gravity around an force of HYDRA grunts by a thousand fold, causing them to slam into one another with bone shattering force, piling them into a ball that Dave then kicked forward.

As the ball of corpses rolled past another section of the battlefield, the shrieking Tyranid Carnifex known as Old One Eye bowled through a force of COGs who were sent flying into the air by the stampeding carnifex. A heartless tried in vain to shoot at it, only for the enormous Tyranid Alpha to grab it by the leg and repeatedly slam it into the ground until it was crushed into a bloody paste. Swinging it's mace tail in a wide arc, Old One eye sent a squadron of hobgoblins bowling into the air before it swept it's piercing green bioplasma beam in a wide arc, catching and incinerating hordes of skaven before it bounded with it's mighty leg muscles into the air, propelling it onto a building.

As it flew, Old One Eye slammed through an Alternian fighter craft, causing the vehicle to explode as the behemothic tyranid crashed onto the side of the building, where a wall crawling Primid took pot shots at it with it's super scope, the yellow blasts only glancing off of the enraged carnifex as it turned itself around so that it was on it's back, bringing one of it's four crushing claw pincers into the body of the primid, crushing it into goop as it backed itself into a building, rushing through rows of cubicles that were sent flying as it charged towards a passing ing possessed decepticon dragon. Smashing through the building, Old One eye came leaping out of the structure and grabbed onto the jaw of the enormous machine, pulling it away from the building and down towards the earth.

Bringing the creature onto the ground near Bluddflagg and Eldar Farseer Macha, the two jumped onto the decepticon beast as Old One Eye continued to rampage through the city. Bluddflagg slammed his hammer into the face of an khornate bloodletter, sending it screeching back into the warp as Macha stabbed her singing spear into the gut of a shrieking warrior ing, causing it's body to ignite with psychic witchfire as Bluddflagg punched a Chaos Space marine in the chest, sending it flying off of the beast while he kicked into the face of a Nazi heavy trooper, crumpling it's power armour inward and sending it hurtling off of the beast as Macha caught a group of incoming Umbras in the blast of a cone of psychic lightning incinerating the darkness loving aliens.

Bluddflag swung his hammer in a wide arc, knocking dozens of traitor guardsmen off of the dragon as he put his hammer behind him and grabbed onto a loose plate of the decepticon's plating, ripping it off and then roaring to the heavens as he slammed it into the Dragon's head, piercing into it and causing the dragon to give out a pained groan, giving Macha the opportunity she needed to let loose a massive electro-kinetic thrust that rammed the ripped off plate right into the being's central processor unit, killing it in an massive series of lightning bolts and causing it to begin diving towards the ground, it's body slamming into the streets of theed and sliding across it, coughing out energon as it impacted before expiring.

As Optimus continued his fight, he received communications from Jenny, nodding at her as he brought two fingers to his antennae. "Bluddflag, get to the location now! Something big and powerful is wreaking havoc behind our lines!" He ordered, causing the Ork to grin ferally on the other side of the city. "Iz on it! WWAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGH!!!!" He roared as he leapt off the corpse of the dead dragon, looking around for something that looked big and powerful that was causing a lot of damage as he jumped around the city, covering it in enormous bounds before he finally spotted another huge and green thing that wasn't an Ork.

As he landed about a mile away from the hulking thing, Bluddflagg took another jump, covering the distance in a single mighty leap before landing in front of the hulk with a mighty crash, his armoured body covered in ramshackle plates of spiky metal, while a great red metal gob covered his lower jaw and a cybork patch hid his right eye. "OI! YOO! I 'eard from a lil' birdy dat yoo wuz causin' sum trouble wiff me mates. WELL DEYZ MY BOYZ! SO GETZ READY FER A FIGHT!" Bluddflagg roared with a rapturous rictus grin of yellowed teeth before he bellowed out his mighty warcry of "WWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

Bluddflagg came charging in towards the hulk, swinging in his right fist with all the force his colossal green body could muster, ready to meet the first being that could possibly equal his titanic strength he had faced in a long time, his green skin rippling as it fought to contain the thick and massive layers of muscles working in his body. This was going to be the first blow he delivered, and the resulting clash would be of such titanic proportions that the fates themselves would sing about it for aeons to come.

Hulk: Smash.

The Hulk roared in return to Bluddflagg's mighty "WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" and brought his fist up, running at a speed no man could ever run toward the mighty Ork captain.

The mighty mightiness of the mighty fists of the mighty Ork and the mighty Hulk clashed together.

Their hands seemed to crunch together as the force of the blow created an enormous explosion that rocked the city of Theed (at least, what was left of it). A flat shockwave radiated from the site of the blow, expanding and growing in magnitude as the two green giants pressed harder together. The shockwave spread out and blasted buildings into rubble. Windows smashed, raining glass upon the citizens, who were either screaming in terror or fainting as they sailed into the air as a result of the enormous blast.

The force blew the two great behemoths back, sending them both into their respective walls. Bluddflagg grunted while the Hulk shook his head and let out a low growl before slamming his fists on the ground and charging once more at the great Ork, angrier than ever.

Meanwhile, as Bluddflagg felt the power of WAAGH coursing through him, he slowly got up, but accelerated as he reached higher power, his body seeming to bulk up. And Bluddflagg ran toward the Hulk, his feet smashing the ground beneath him.

The Hulk brought up his fist and bashed Bluddflagg in his Cybork jaw, denting the metal. However, Bluddflagg proceeded to grab the Hulk by the pecs and hoist him over his head, twirling the behemoth while bellowing an Orkish bellow.

The Hulk reached down and grabbed a hold on the Ork's head, causing Bluddflagg to drop the Hulk in surprise of the sudden halting of the giant green man. But Bluddflagg quickly regained his senses and socked the Hulk in his own jaw, before slamming him in the gut and kicking him with a beefy leg.

Taking that enormous claw on his arm, Bluddflagg then bore down on the Hulk, clasping him in the metal clutches of an excavator gone wrong. But the Hulk managed to pry Bluddflagg's grip open and crashed a fist into Bluddflagg's robotic eye. The Hulk shook his hand to quickly rid himself of the electric shock, but that gave enough time for Bluddflagg to blast the Hulk with his gun before barreling into him, snarling.

And Bluddflagg wasn't even at full power yet. He again charged at the Hulk, clashing metal plates clanging and banging against each other like a kitchen rack connected to a monster truck. The Hulk, however, grabbed Bluddflagg and shoved upward, sending the Ork over his head. Then the Hulk grabbed the Ork by the collar and began to bash Bluddflagg over and over again in many uncomfortable places in the face, but Bluddflagg wasn't done yet. He pinched the Hulk's grabbing arm, causing the Hulk to let go and howl in pain, giving Bluddflagg an opening and letting him shoot the Hulk with his gun.

Bluddflagg ran toward the Hulk, starting with a low growl, but then escalating to a full-on "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The very earth trembled beneath his feet! The remaining wreckage of buildings came crashing down! Vehicles overturned and exploded in mid-air due to ruptures in the engines! And Bluddflagg, bigger than ever, BASHED THE HULK STRAIGHT INTO THE FACE!!!

Meanwhile, Fawful was watching the whole thing in horror. His plan was going horribly wrong. "No! This is not giving of me the chortles! My weapon is of the damaging!"

Fawful then looked at the landscape around him, and his grin returned. "Oh... Fawfully-dear, how could you be having of the blindness? The fury of the two giants of green will already level the city! And then... WE WILL BE OF THE STRIKING! I HAVE FURY!"

In the meantime, the two furious behemoths were tussling like they never tussled before. The Hulk left several Hulk-shaped impressions in the twenty-seven walls that Bluddflagg punched him through.

The Hulk charged toward Bluddflagg and roared, bringing his fists over his head, leaping into the air, and bringing them down.

The mother of all Hulk Smashes.

Debris flew into the air. Dead bodies, bits of plaster, dust, dirt, metal... EVERYTHING.

Even the living bodies.

Toad: HELP!

Magolor was flying around in his ship, trying to catch the patients. Such as me and Mario.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!" I cried, sailing through the air. Magolor stuck out his arms and caught me and Mario, and pulled us into the Lor. "What happened to everybody?" I gasped, falling down on one of his chairs.

"I swept them into the transport dimension that the Lor travels through, along with the Argo II. They've been loaded into that ship. The bigger guys I took into the dimension to put into Omega Supreme."

"Is that... safe?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm entirely sure."

"So what about Kate?" I asked.

Magolor jumped up in surprise. "Uh-oh!" he cried.

LOCATION: Battleship Halberd's Engine Room

MEANWHILE...

Ganon laughed. "Ha! Ha! Ha!" he chortled. "They will DIE!"

Captain Hook glared at Ganon. "What if they take out ol' Globby-gibbles or whatever the thing's name is?"

"Ah, Hook, they've still got Fawful's trump card and the Condesce to worry about. Besides, we've got all of the power in the world now that we have him.

The giant metal robot was hanging in stasis above their heads in the engine room. The enslaved Wheelies were sadly puttering back and forth, yearning for a chance to escape. They were happier serving under Meta Knight...

Ganon glared at the Wheelies, then pointed at the robot, Duon. Its front was open, revealing a clear extraction chamber, with Mr. Game & Watch inside, crying out in pain (well, bleeping). Dark shadowy blobs fell from Mr. G & W, falling to the floor and brightening somewhat to a dark purple hue.

These Shadow Bugs were then taken to the bomb bays to be dropped on the Champions to copy them and create elite soldiers for the Destroyers.

The pilots of the ship were a bunch of false Mr. Game & Watches, because the Destroyers needed time to formulate their plans.

"When were we invited onto this thing, anyway?" Captain Hook asked.

"Privileges," Ganon replied.

Magolor: Attempt to revive Mario.

I slapped the plumber across the face. "Wake up!" I shouted.

Toad dumped a bucket of ice water on Mario's head. He then violently rattled him before dumping another bucket of ice water.

Kirby ran into my Copy Ability rooms, gained the Bomb ability, and set an explosive next to Mario, hoping to shock him awake.

BOOM!

Nothing happened, except ash getting all over my nice clean floor.

I sent Kirby into the room to get the Clean ability while I worked out a solution. "I'm fresh out of ideas. How are we gonna get this guy awake?" I asked. "He's out stone cold."

I couldn't find Peach anywhere. She and Mario had a thing going on, I could tell. But where was she?

Daisy grabbed Mario by the collar and rattled him. "WAKE UP!" she hollered.

Mario banged his head against the floor. "Mmmfff... linguine..." he mumbled.

Toad moaned and banged his head on the wall. He promptly leaned back and pushed in his back. "Owww..." he grumbled.

Daisy pulled out a big black cannon. "It's a Bullet Bill," she said. "They are really loud."

She lit the cannon and we covered our ears.

KA-BLAM!

The Bullet Bill smacked into the wall and clattered to the ground, dazed. Meanwhile, Mario... was still snoozing away.

"I don't think he's waking up," I said. "He must be in a coma or something. Maybe he's terminally paralyzed---"

I watched as Peach came out holding a plate of spaghetti. "Peach, this is no time to---" I began.

She held the plate under Mario's nose. The plumber's nose twitched, and as he sniffed, his mouth curled into a content smile. He slowly sat upright, before his eyes opened and he wolfed down the spaghetti in ten seconds flat.

"What? I almost got my ship blown apart by a living bullet!" I cried. "And the answer was ITALIAN FOOD?!"

Mario licked his chops. "Just what I needed!" he said happily.

Phineas: I know what you're going to do today!

Hey! I was going to say that!

Magolor had a special viewing portal that we could look into, so that we could watch Bluddflagg beat up the green monster. "Isn't there anything we can do?" I asked.

Ferb shrugged. We watched as another building crumbled.

I got up. "That's it," I said. "We're not ones to sit on the sidelines and watch. Ferb, I know what we're going to do today!" Ferb gave me a thumbs-up.

"Aren't you a little young to be fighting a giant green rage monster?" asked Magolor.

"Isn't Adeleine?" I shot back.

"Good point," Magolor grumbled. Adeleine looked up. "Oh, don't mind us," Magolor said, waving her off.

I packed a backpack with tools, rope, and a parachute. Ferb packed the same. I stuffed several pens and blueprint paper into my pack. "Wish us luck!" I said, as the Lor Starcutter eased out of the portal and opened its door to us.

"COME BACK ALIVE, OKAY?!" Magolor called after us, as we jumped and fell.

"That ship sure is interesting," I said to Ferb. "I wonder how it works?"

"Extraterrestrial trans-dimensional technology is far, far ahead of our time," Ferb replied.

"Hmm. Maybe we could save that for the day we come back."

Our parachutes opened, and I bounced up with a jerk. We floated down gently as we touched down on the ground.

A car smashed against the pavement, and a street light toppled over, almost taking my head off.

"Come on, let's see if we can salvage anything," I said, running over to the car with a wrench in hand.

We took the car apart piece-by-piece, but then we were attacked by a passing Chaos Space Marine.

They proceeded to stalk toward us, guns drawn. "I think they mean to take us prisoner," Ferb noted.

"You think? SCRAMBLE!" I shouted. We jumped into the windows that we conveniently backed up in front of just before they fired. But then, the seven-foot-tall soldiers crashed through the wall like a Kool-Aid pitcher on steroids. And that's saying a LOT.

I jumped on a lamp and fell toward the Space Marine whose gun was trained on my head. He fired, but I swerved the lamp to the left. The base suddenly went airborne and clocked the Space Marine in the jaw. In surprise, he dropped his gun. I ran over to it, dragged it away, and tinkered with it a little before it was snatched out of my hands by the soldier. "He-he-he!" he sneered, before pulling the trigger.

The gun fired backwards into his face, then was sent spiraling into the air, where I caught it, staggered under its weight, pinned it down under me, and completely dismantled it.

By that time, another one was on me. I thrust my screwdriver into his face, but he batted it away and was about to shoot me when Ferb dropped a chandelier upon his head. "I wonder where we're getting all these convenient light sources?" I asked.

Ferb pointed to a spinning machine that looked like it was built out of parts of a car and a Space Marine's gun. "Ferb, you are always one step ahead of me. Nice job building that teleportational translocator."

But the Space Marine stood up, rubbed his head, picked up his gun, and angrily brought it down upon my head... but Ferb had somehow managed to get a car through the teleporter and into the Space Marine's back. I rolled to the side as the Space Marine crashed into the wall and onto the street.

I noticed Ferb holding a remote control. I heard tires spin, and the yell of a Space Marine. Then I heard a crash, and saw the guy's helmet roll across the ground.

Then I heard another rumble.

"GET DOWN!" I cried, diving for the nearest corner. Ferb did the same.

Just in the nick of time, too, because then, the giant green rage monster in question blasted through the wall and smashed into the other side of the room. Bluddflagg shortly followed. "'Ey! What's deez 'umie kidz doin' in dis buil'lin? GEDDOUDDA 'ERE! Dis is MY fight!" the Ork leader bellowed, shooing us away.

"Huh. Apparently he thinks we can't really do much here. Ah, well, probably not," I said, winking to Ferb.

The rage monster roared and crashed his way toward Ferb. Bluddflagg smashed his fist into the monster's body, and he crashed through the wall, giving Ferb a chance to escape. We fled the room. "Good 'umie boyz, leavin' da Orky jobz t' da Orkz... I kinda liked da thin wun'z hair. It'z nice 'n green 'n orky. Wunder iff da triangle boy'z red hair makes 'im go fasta..." mused Bluddflagg, before turning toward the rage monster behind us. "OKAY, IT'Z ON 'GIN! WAAAAAAAGH!"

We ducked behind the wall. "What's the plan?" asked Ferb.

I pulled out the pen and blueprint paper. "We need something that could help distract the monster while Bluddflagg beats on him!"

"A simple matter," Ferb replied. "All we require is an annoying buzzing device that will fly about the monster."

"Huh, it should shoot at him, too, to maximize the distraction, as well as be agile, in order to avoid the beast's grip."

We set to work, doing mathematical calculations and making designs, and prototypes. We didn't really have a song for this, because our backup singers are back in the Disney universe.

Soon, we had an annoying, artificial-intelligence helicopter droid that would annoy the green rage monster until Bluddflagg could get a hit on him. "I don't think the monster's all that bright," I said, "so I'll bet this'll work multiple times." I high-fived Ferb, and we sent the AAIHD into the building.

We heard gunfire, several crashes, the grunts of an annoyed monster, and the blast of Bluddflagg's gun. We ran into the building, and saw that Bluddflagg had the monster under his foot. "Neva send an 'umie t' do an Ork'z work," Bluddflagg muttered.

"Don't look now, but he's going to get back up again," I said.

"'EY! WHUDDAYA DOIN' BACK 'ERE? I TOLD YA T' LEAVE DA ORKY JOBZ T' DA ORKZ!" Bluddflagg shouted, but then the rage monster jumped back up, pinned Bluddflagg to the ground, and roared.

He wound up his fist. "HULK PUNCH PUNY ROBOT MONSTER!" he said, smashing Bluddflagg in the jaw, almost taking it completely off.

It hung under the massive Ork's jaw like a sign. "'EY! OO U 'ALLI 'UUEE? 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!"

Bluddflagg and Hulk were now in the wrestling match of the century. "Look out, Hulk, 'cause Bluddflagg's got a steel chair! Oh, but looks like the Hulk's starting to turn the tables on Bluddflagg... literally! Bluddflagg emerges from under the tables, and OH! Right in the soft spot! Good thing the Hulk's got all that muscle down there!" I announced.

The AAIHD buzzed around the Hulk, and he was momentarily distracted. It was long enough for Bluddflagg to sock him in the chest with his metal claw, before uppercutting the Hulk in the jaw, and finishing off with a plasma blast. Ferb dinged an alarm bell. "Hulk's down! Bluddflagg wins this round!"

Bluddflagg bellowed with another "WAAAGH!" sending another wave of strength through his body. Ferb offered to fix up Bluddflagg's jaw, but Bluddflagg refused.

The Hulk got up again, put up his fists, and snarled at Bluddflagg. Bluddflagg's arms were wide open, his steel jaw hanging from the bottom of his skull, creaking and squeaking as it rocked back and forth. The two giants eyed each other, seeing who was going to move first.

Eventually, the Hulk's impatience got the better of him, and the monster charged toward the other green giant. The Hulk grabbed Bluddflagg and twirled him in the air, but the Ork clasped the Hulk's wrist, and when the Hulk threw, all of a sudden, it was the Hulk who was being twirled in the air by Bluddflagg. The Ork captain smashed the Hulk on the ground, before shooting him with his gun and bashing him with a claw. The Hulk then grabbed the claw and thrust it overhead, taking Bluddflagg with it. The Hulk roared, beating his chest before stomping the ground and sending a shock wave toward Bluddflagg.

Bluddflagg toppled over, his sheer Orkish weight plus the weight of the metal attachments to his body causing him to fall over and hit the floor. Bluddflagg yelled and brought his metal fist into the Hulk's head, sending him crashing through the ceiling. Meanwhile, the AAIHD fired at the Hulk, causing it to stomp toward the droid in a rage, giving Bluddflagg a chance to grab the Hulk and sweep him overhead, and then into the ground. SMASH! Bricks flew everywhere. We shielded our faces.

The Hulk was looking up at the ceiling, breathing heavily.

I heard an evil laugh. "Fururururu!" came the cackle, as a bean-colored, bean-shaped being beamed down on a platform. "Fureereeree! Fura-ha-ha! These monsters are of the destroying of Theed! Fool Ork! Were you really thinking of the destroying of the green rage monster while inside the city of dense population? Everybody is being of the gone! The end has come for all their games! And all thanks to YOU TWO! Both of the monsters of green-ness!"

"You planned this all along? I can't believe you would do this all out of a cold heart!" I shouted.

"Heeheehee! I WAS of the planning of this all along! For I am FAWFUL, of the cold-hearted Bean! And none shall be of the way of standing in front of the Destroyers! This battle has been the sweet dough of our cake of conquest! And with pleasure, your death shall be the icing on that cake! THE ICING... OF YOUR DOOM!!!"

"You... trick... HULK?" the Hulk growled, which was probably the most intelligent thing that he had said today.

"YES, I AM OF THE TRICKING OF THE MONSTER OF GREEN RAGE! AND NOW, MEET YOUR DOOM! FAWFUL CANNON, ACTIVATE! DESTROY THESE FINK-RATS!"

A cannon appeared behind Fawful, and took aim at all four of us.

"Not so fast, beany-meanie!" a familiar voice said.

A car smashed into the cannon. "Sorry, Chitty!" the same voice said.

"Kate!" Ferb and I cried.

"Sorry I'm late!" she called.

"We weren't flying straight," Violet, who was sitting in the seat beside her, added.

"Oh, these rhymes I hate!" Fawful sneered, aiming his ray gun at the car.

Which I just realized was flying.

Fawful fired, but the car arced upward, and crashed down upon Fawful. "Yeah! How d'you like that?!" Kate jeered.

"THE TABLES SHALL NOW BE TURNED UPON YOU!" Fawful cried, putting on a helmet with a vacuum nozzle and two rockets. He hovered in the air, and the vacuum began to fire laser beams. "FINK-RATS!"

"You two are going to have to get along for a bit," I said to the Hulk and to Bluddflagg. They glared at each other, and sighed.

Finally, these two are civil.

"But you are outnumbered! I have all of the UNDERWORLD on my side!" Fawful sneered, as strange monsters appeared from the ground, ranging from flying pink eyes, to green whales, to armored soldiers that spat out eels.

"If we couldn't save the city, then we will avenge it," Violet said. Then we struck a battle pose sort of like this, and ran toward Fawful.

Toad: Wreck the mood.

I was sitting and playing my 3DS while Globbity-gib or whatever-its-name-is was wrecking the city by screaming.

Of course, we were all in the transport dimension.

"Hey, Magolor, you sure we won't get mobbed here by Doomers? Last time we were in here, Doomers came by and started spitting plasma at us."

"Ah, we'll be fine. I'm on your side this time, so the ship's not going to let those Doomers get you."

Speak of the devil. Doomers started to mob the Lor Starcutter.

"Watch and learn," Magolor said, turning on the FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS light.

The ship gyrated and flung stars everywhere.

In five minutes we had no Doomers surrounding us.

Magolor proudly looked at me.

INTERLUDE END

Toad: Look outside and see that everyone has fallen asleep.

Zzzz... snork--HUH?!

Oh, oops, sorry. I'd fallen asleep. Geez, how long have we been IN here without anything happening? And how long are Phineas and his allies going to stand in that pose?

I could see him getting tired, I mean, most of them had dropped their props and are sitting down, waiting for something to happen. Even the giant green rage monster had fallen asleep. Gosh, does he snore LOUD.

Just as I was about to go back to sleep, Magolor yawned loudly.

He woke up EVERYBODY in the Lor Starcutter.

Everybody was glaring at him. Myself included.

"Sorry," Magolor said sheepishly, his brown face going red with embarrassment.

He quickly turned around, pulled a blanket over himself, and fake-snored. "HONK-SHOO, HONK-SHOO, HONK-SHOO."

It was almost as annoying as his real snore.

Straw Hat Pirates: Time for a starting post!


Today was one of those lazy days that seemed to bother the small pirate crew. They had all fallen in love with adventure, and at the moment adventure was nowhere in sight. The sea was extremely calm today, which was a rare condition for such dangerous waters. There was hardly any wind either, only enough to fill the sales of the large boat and push them forward towards the next island. It wasn’t that the crew didn’t appreciate mild weather; it was just that they were beginning to run low on supplies, mainly food.

Since food was on a critical level of low a few of the pirates on the ship had decided to try their luck in fishing for their next meal. But so far the only things they had caught were tiny little fish, too small for bait no less feed all nine of them.

The rest of the small crew was trying their best not to rip off their own flesh from boredom. They did things that they were good at, the musician had been composing his own music, the shipwright was making minor repairs to the ship and the ships cook was scrounging up the last of the ships ingredients to make desserts for the women.

These two women were partaking in ‘lady like’ activities such as counting piles of paper money and reading gory horror novels. The money-counting lady was also the navigator of the ship, so she should have been keeping an eye on the Log Pose, a small compass like object she kept on her wrist, but she saw that the weather was too calm for anything too drastic to happen.

And since she didn’t want to do it, she left the job of look out to the green haired swordsman, who was sleeping in the crows nest. Maybe if he had stayed awake, or if someone else took his place as look out the next few events wouldn’t have occurred.

One of the fishing pirates, the slightly dim captain of the crew, was getting tired of not catching anything. He set down his pole and cupped his hand around his eyes, like binoculars, in hopes of finding something to do.

He frowned; none of the regular sea sights were out today. No other pirate ships or ships that belonged to the world government, no giant sea monsters to fight, there even weren’t any seagulls. The man removed his hands from his eyes, blinking. He looked down at one of his friends who was fishing.

“Oi…Did you see the giant purple thing too?” He asked, pointing at the large portal that had opened right in the path of the ship, and it seemed to be getting closer.

The other two fishing pirates screamed, running around the ship, quickly alerting the rest of the crew about the oncoming danger. The navigator began to shout instructions, trying to get the ship away from the portal. Despite their best efforts (Which for some wasn’t much) the ship continued to get closer.

A trembling man ducked behind a cola barrel. “B-brace yourself guys!” He called from his hiding place. The chef balanced a cigarette from his lip, lighting it. He didn’t seem worried at all. “Yeah. We don’t know what will happen if we go through that portal.” The rest of the crew quickly braced themselves for impact.

The captain sat on the head of the lion on the front of the ship. He pressed his hat harder onto his head, laughing. “I hope it’s an adventure!”


The ship was quickly engulfed with the portal.



???, ???, and ???: Wakey Wakey eggs and bakey ((How on earth do you spell that anyway?))

The captain of the pirate crew’s eyes shot open. He looked around before sitting up, turning his head a full one hundred-eighty degrees before letting it snap back into its rightful place.


“Hmm?” He said questionably. He didn’t remember hitting land. Suddenly it hit him; the portal must have brought them here. “Shishishi…” He laughed. “I smell adventure.” Luffy said, standing up and brushing the dirt off his pants and shirt. He took a better look around, only able to see two of his crewmembers.

He walked over to the man who would be easier to wake. Luffy tapped the blond head of the ships cook. “Oi…” the man muttered, swatting Luffy away. Luffy tapped him again, and again, and again, and again. The sleeping man looked irritated. “What do you want Luffy?” He asked.

Luffy sat down. “I can’t find the rest of the crew.” These words made the sleeping man shift. “Not even the ladies?” Luffy shook his head. “Nope.” The now once sleeping man leapt to his feet, raising his fists to the sky. “WE MUST FIND THEM! I WILL SAVE YOU LADIES!”

Sanji saw the other crewmate that Luffy was able to find. He tapped the sleeping man on the head with his foot. “Oi. Shitty Marimo. Wake up.” No response. “Oi. Marimo?” Still no response, this annoyed Sanji who knew the other man was just trying to piss him off. Sanji kicked the other man hard in the head, waking him up. “Oi Marimo we are going to rescue the ladies!”


Zoro sat up, rubbing his aching head. He decided to say something to piss Sanji off more. “Whatever, Love-Cook” He laughed, blocking Sanji’s kicks with the hilt of his sword.

Luffy pulled on Sanji’s shirtsleeve. “Sanjiiiii…I’m hungry.”

This is gonna be a long journey.



???, ???, and ???: Your turns.

A loud yawn erupted from one of the sleeping pirates as he awoke. He sat up, stretching and rubbing his eyes. He had yet to see where he was. “Man guys I had the weirdest dream ever!” he laughed, closing his eyes and laying back down. “There was this portal, and Luffy had the bright idea of charging head first into it!” The man suddenly frowned, not opening his eyes. He noticed that he couldn’t feel the rocking of the waves against the ship. He sat up and opened his eyes, screeching like a little girl. “Where the hell are we?” and by ‘we’ he meant the two other sleeping pirates near him.


Usopp scurried over to one of his friends, the youngest of the crew and also it’s doctor. Usopp grabbed his shoulders and shook his violently. “Wake up wake up wake up!” The small pirate opened his eyes sleepily, but quickly snapped out of his sleepiness when he realized they were no longer on the Sunny.

He looked over at the remaining sleeping pirate, who appeared to have a cut on her leg. The small pirate began to scream. “Oh no she’s hurt! Oh god oh god we need a doctor!” He suddenly stopped panicking and blushed. “Oh wait…I’m a doctor…”


The female pirate awoke to Chopper tending the wound on her leg. She wouldn’t have found that odd, except how did she get hurt? Her eyes focused on Usopp, who was pacing back and forth. He turned, noticing that she had awoken. He suddenly looked nervous, rubbing the back of his head.

She smiled, her smile looking very very creepy. Chopper left her side and hid behind Usopp’s leg. “So Usopp…Chopper. Where are we and more importantly where is the ship?” Usopp tried to respond without shaking. “Well I think when we went through that portal we got separated from the ship and-“ The girl cut him off by jumping up.

Her fists were clenched. “ALL OUR MONEY AND TREASURE IS ON THAT SHIP!” She screeched, causing Usopp and Chopper to jump.


She pointed off in a random direction. “We will go that way!” Before Chopper or Usopp could object Nami spoke again. “I’m the navigator of this crew! I know what I’m doing!” Usopp sighed. “Fine let’s just go, we need to meet up with the others.” Chopper and Usopp started walking, until Nami grabbed Usopp’s arm, pulling him back.

Nami pouted. “Carry me.” She whined. Usopp yanked his arm back. “Why should I carry you?” Nami pointed to her leg. “It hurts.” She whined. “Oh come on, it can’t be that bad.” Chopper nodded. “Well if you don’t carry me I will tell Sanji that you made me limp the whole way.” Usopp swallowed. The thought of Sanji angry scared the timid man. “Alright fine.” He grumbled, letting Nami climb onto his back.

Chopper stood in front of them, pointing a hoof towards the horizon; he could just barely make out the shape of crumbling buildings and smoke. “Let’s go that way!”



???, ???, and ???: Everyone else is awake, so get up.

“YOHOHOHO!” A shrill laugh shot out of a laying down pirate. It was hard to tell if he was laughing in his sleep or if he was awake and laughing for no reason. He suddenly stood up, and by suddenly I mean like blink and he’s up. I don’t even think he moved his arms or bent his legs. Oh the mysteries of the undead.


The boney man walked a few paces away from where he was laying, bent at the hips and picked up a violin that was lying in the dirt. He brushed off the dirt then straightened up again. He glanced around, soon locating the bow to his violin and retrieving it. He began to play an eerily sad song as one of his comrades began to stand.

The man who was getting up was giant. Well more like his top half was. His chest and arms where almost completely artificial, made by himself. His legs and feet are the most human thing on him and they were tiny in comparison to the rest of his body. He wore metal braces on his legs to keep himself from collapsing.

He rubbed his head, looking over at Brook playing the violin. He sniffed loudly, as if trying not to cry. “Oi Brook, why are you playing that sad song right now? It’s making me feel depressed!” Brook stopped playing, putting his arms to his sides. “Well you might feel more depressed when you realize where we are.” The robotic man looked around, his eyes bulging and his jaw dropping when he realized that his beloved ship wasn’t anywhere in sight. [color=cyan“WHERE’S SUNNY-CHAN!”[/color] the man cried.

The sound of Franky’s cries where enough to wake the second of the two female pirates of the Strawhat Crew. She stood up, brushing the dirt off her skirt and brushing her hair back into place before approaching Franky and Brook. She rested a hand on Franky’s massive shoulder. “For such a large man you are quite the crier.” She was right; tears were streaming out of his eyes like waterfalls. She continued to talk. “It seems like we are far from home, and our friends.” Franky had stopped crying and nodded with Brook.

“Well then we have no reason to sit around crying, we need to get a move on before they do something dangerous.”


Brook laughed again as the three of them began to walk. “You are correct and level headed like always miss Robin!” He turned his head towards her. “Now can I see your panties?” Robin shook her head. “Not now not ever.”

LOCATION: Theed

I.M. Meen: Do some "Meen" things!

Ha ha! Now the bookworms shall pay!

I have my magical labyrinth with me! This book was made to order, but it isn't to be read! When they open up this book, they're sucked inside instead to the most unpleasant place they've ever seen: the magic labyrinth of I.M. Meen!

Now I just need to find just the right goody-goodies to trap in my magical book... and I believe I've found them!

"What's the matter, smarties?!" I hollered, running toward a group of six. There were four little goody-goody children who looked tired.

"What is the having of meaning of this?!" squawked a green bean man. "I am demanding of explanations for this!"

"These goody-goodies are going to be sucked into MY MAGIC BOOK!"

Gru: Take care of this the awesome way.

I leapt into the fray. "Yah! You don't touch them!" I shouted, brandishing my freeze ray. "HA! FREEZE RAY!" I fired at the book in the old man's hands.

"WRETCHED-- wait, you aren't a child!" the man cried. "Wait... I remember you! You were in the LAST tournament we were in! I had tried to suck in your goody-goody friend over there," he said, pointing to Kate, "and I remember being beaten up by---"

I grabbed him by the collar. "I don't care if you remember me, but you are not touching them while I'm here!"

At this, the large green hulk of a man stomped up to the old guy and picked him up, snorted in his face, and growled, "Puny librarian."

He hurled him into a wall.

Dazed, the old man stumbled about. "Uhhh.... Arggg... No-one throws I.M. Meen into a---"

He was hurled into the same wall.

A large chunk of rubble fell on top of his head.

He was out cold.

"Well, that takes care of him," I said, shrugging.

The green giant snorted.

LOCATION: Mushroom Kingdom

Wiggler: Keep fighting your way to Gaol's castle.

Wiggler, Rosalina, and Magnus trekked through the Chai kingdom of Sarasaland. They were getting close.

"Up ahead," Rosalina said. "That's Birabuto."

Magnus grunted. "Another one of these kingdoms, eh? I'm surprised they're not so---"

"Heavily guarded? Of course they are! NYAHAHAHA!"

"Tatanga!" Rosalina shouted.

Wiggler grumbled and brandished a baseball bat.

Meanwhile, a purple alien in a black space suit descended from the air. "I think I'll just kill you now. Gaol's orders!" Tatanga sneered.

"Try it," Magnus growled.

He did.

A laser blast arced toward Magnus, but he blocked it with his sword. He rushed toward Tatanga and heaved it up and over his head, before bringing it crashing down upon the alien.

CRUNCH!

Wiggler etched words into the ground. Is he dead?

Magnus tensed.

The ground exploded underneath him just as he pulled his sword back. "HAHAHA! It's going to take more than that to beat me!" Tatanga mocked.




Wiggler hefted his bat and hurled himself toward Tatanga before clubbing the alien with the handle and kicking him in the chest. Tatanga spiraled over to Magnus, who proceeded to knock Tatanga into the air and slash him when he came down, leaving the alien at the mercy of Rosalina, who sent a concentrated barrage of meteors upon Tatanga. The space rocks converged onto Tatanga and crushed him, but the alien countered with a laser blast that Magnus had to deflect. "You think you're so smart, don't you? What do you expect from a--- OOF!"

Wiggler anticlimactically knocked Tatanga in the back of the head with his nose.

He then proceeded to tromp all over the alien, stomping on him mercilessly.

He and Magnus took turns kicking Tatanga.

The alien moaned, but then began to laugh as the sky turned a deep orange. "You think you've won?" he jeered, before rising into the air due to the Halberd's traction beam.

Shadow Bugs dropped from the Halberd, swarming around Magnus, Wiggler, and Rosalina. The trio looked around as the Subspace Army began to rise from the Shadow Bugs. Primids of all shapes and sizes, as well as other creatures.

Magnus swept his sword through the ranks of Primids, while Auroros futilely tried to spear him. Rosalina used dark matter to change gravity and send the Subspace Army into orbit around invisible blocks of matter. Meanwhile, Wiggler was using the gravity fields to his advantage, trying to get at the ascending Tatanga.

He succeeded in tackling the alien and wrestling with him in midair.

Wiggler pinned Tatanga under him and blasted into the ground, digging a hole five feet deep.

Wiggler climbed out of the hole and covered it with dirt. He then wiped his feet on it and began to dance upon the hole.

An unseen assailant bashed Wiggler and knocked him out of his happy dance.

It was another Wiggler, but with a shadowy aura about it. It was brandishing an identical baseball bat to Wiggler's.

Meanwhile, Magnus was struggling with a Magnus clone while Rosalina was desperately trying to keep a doppelganger away from her.

Wiggler groaned. This was hard.

[youtube]www.youtube.com/watch?v=1b]Q-SpgzmWc [/youtube]


With the clearing of the enemy forces around Gl'bgolyb, the Grey Knights began a psychic ritual,
creating flares of white psychic flame that pulsed and throbbed as they grew in intensity. Slowly but surely the fire began to rise. The psychic fires around gl'bgolyb began to dance, flowing orbs of raw psionic fury dancing around the horror terror as the elite of Mankind prepared to destroy the being from the Furthest Ring.

Those destroyers who still remained around Gl'bgolyb looked up into the sky and saw the white inferno encircling them, swirling into a sphere, starting from the bottom before advancing upwards in a series of ascending loops, it's bright radiance never ceasing or faltering as it bathed the monster in the white hot rage of the Emperor's chosen.

As the hemisphere completed itself, all was still for a moment. The half orb of energy calmly burned and shone, it seemed almost tranquil actually, in spite of it being the size of a city that is. For a moment, it held the attention of all as it's glow started to dim and then intensify in rapidly intensifying pulses. Each pulse was accompanied by a sharp, almost digital cracking noise that rang through the air.

With each pulse, the sphere would get brighter than the pulse before it, building up it's furious energy to sunlike intensity as the grey knights were aided by space marine librarians, eldar seers, ork wyrdboys, Tyranid synapse organisms, and sanctioned psykers in creating this powerful effect. Finally, everything seemed to stop for just a brief while, all was silent for just a brief moment.

And then the sphere exploded. The sphere seemed to snap apart, sending out a colossal psychic shockwave rippling out in an expanding incadescent ring of furious warp energy. A shimmering white and light blue mushroom cloud began to rise towards the heavens, stretching itself out to the very heavens. The blast was immeasurably bright, to observers, it would seem like the entirety of the sky was replaced by suns, which all then promptly went supernova.

The Necrons, GDI, the Soviets, and the Cybertronians, with the aid of the Doctor, had created a set of forcefield generators known as firestorm barriers. These unassuming, six foot high ramparts opened up, sliding back compartments to reveal their projectoers, which just moments for the detonation, activated to shoot forth a colossal blue energy wall into the sky. The transluscent, shimmering barrier instantly fried anything that was caught by the energy barrier as it ascended, piercing into the darkened sky just as the detonation did.

The firestorm projectors were then themselves shielded by this energy, creating an impenetrable energy wall that seemed to go on forever. And now the first test of this system, upgraded from it's origins in the Tiberium multiverse, would come. The first test of course, was the incomprehensibly vast amounts of energy that came from the psychic detonation, ramming into the firestorm wall at the speed of light.

The firestorm wall for a brief moment glowed extremely intensely, blindingly so in fact, but it held resolute and the glow faded, letting all witness the rising mushroom cloud and the rapidly expanding white shockwave. All dark dimension and dark dimension possesed entities were instantly disintegrated like so much dry straw in the face of a nuclear bomb. They did not have any time to scream, nor did anything else caught within the instant fatility radius of the psychic blast's incineration area.

Daemons and other warp entities caught by the blast found their essences being burned away until nothing was left to reform from, enemy psykers and spellcasters found their bodies overwhelmed by the advancing wave of psychic energy and combusted both physically and spiritually if they were not already instantly incinerated by the sheer heat of the blast.

The shockwave washed over them like the mother of all tsunamis, carrying yet another wave of heat that burnt any caught by the psychic blast wave with holy fury while the kinetic energy from the detonation picked their rapidly disintegrating forms up and flung them like toys. Everything was swept away by the blast, no matter how big or small, from the tiniest of parasites to the most massive of titans, all were brushed aside like toy blocks before an angry child.

The noise of the explosion in of itself was catastrophically loud, there was no point on the planet where it could not be heard. From the deepest oceans of Naboo to the upper reaches of it's atmosphere. Anywhere that sound could travel, the cacaphony of the Psychic Inferno could be heard. The mushroom cloud remained for a full two hours before it finally disappated, it's energy and fury spent at last.


In it's place was a massive crater plain, the ground still cooling down from being vaporized, here and there was the odd crackle of psychic energy, the after effects after a surge of warp energy of such magnitude, Gl'bgolyb was utterly destroyed by the blast, as was the entirety of the second wave, none of them could stand before the fury of the mind.

But it seemed that the destroyers were not done. One final wave came towards the Champions, this one lead by the Condesce herself. Though many of them died traversing the superheated and psychically charged blast area, they still came in their multitudes. But just as the firestorm walls dropped, the projectors now in need of recharge, the Grey Knights were once again at the ready.

Whereas most of the other champion forces were already firing upon the destroyer's final charge, the Grey Knights were waiting for them to come just a few hundred meters away. And then they stood up from their meditative kneel, psychically charged projectiles and blasts of mind created warp energy streaming out from them as they cut a swathe through the destroyers.

The Grey Knights went about their trade, cutting down destroyer after destroyer with their nemesis force weapons, psychic ammunition, and fearsome mind powers. They were a terror to behold, and save for softly muttered litanies of hatred for the enemies of the Imperium, they were silent. But the furious, green sun, ing, and daemonically charged Condesce would not back down.

She and her personal guard of one of each kind of greater daemon, four massive ing organisms, and four elite alternian supersoldiers made their charge. One of the ing fell as a concentrated burst of lasweapon fire struck it, it's ichorous form bubbling and boiling at the frenzy of light before it finally exploded into stinking dark offal. Another guard, one of the alternians, ran afoul of the rampaging beast known as Old One eye after getting separated from the others, and against the raw fury of one such a mighty Tyranid, he did not last.

But the remainder of the force came charging towards the Hulk, butchering their way through champion lines, killing those soldiers who tried to stand against them,. Finally Optimus cut in on the radio, calling Percy. "Jackson, get a team together and bring down the destroyer leader! The rest of us are tied down and you're the one closest to her. Bring in anyone you can and end this." He said over the commlink, his speech punctuated by grunts of effort as he fought. Now the fate of this conflict came down to a duel against a monstrous beast of a woman with vast power.